Addendum to New Year's Resolutions:
Take more pictures (get new camera to make picture taking more fun)
That is all, well, I still have that goal list from way back when, which needs reviewing.... good luck with that one!
Monday, January 28, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
New Year's Resolutions, version 2013
So, it worked really well last year to have a one-word resolution that carried over into every aspect of my lie. That resolution, "de-clutter", was awesome, like a year long life motto. I applied it to my home, career, relationships, everything. I scaled back on spending time with some "toxic friends." I ignored a lot of office drama. I let go of some community volunteer work that had become more stressful than rewarding. I still don't have my home completely in order, but I don't know that any working new mom does. And I found yet another similarity between my husband and father-in-law: pack rat.
This year, my mantra is "be present".
Explanation: I am a very task-motivated, goal-oriented, busy person. I don't sit idle for very long, if ever. I know that drove Scott nuts when we first married. He would get home and sit down to eat and then watch TV and relax. I would serve up dinner, sit and eat briefly, then get up to tidy the kitchen, finish a load of laundry, sort through the mail, work on a project, you name it. I've always been like this. I do it in social situations, too (like at church), never enjoying taking the time to visit, but ready to get out the door and on to the next thing. Now I am catching myself doing it with the precious few minutes I have each day with Coleman. I run into the next room to change out the laundry instead of playing with him. I check facebook while I'm nursing instead of soaking in his soft skin, cotton-top hair, and liquid blue eyes. I ignore his whining for a few minutes while I get dressed instead of picking him up and savoring this short period of time when he does want to be held and is going through some separation anxiety.
Am I teaching him that getting things done is more important that spending time together? Am I teaching him independence or loosing his trust that I will be there for him no matter what? Am I encouraging him to be a loner instead of interacting with others? How many opportunities for conversation, cuddling, a quick kiss or two, relaxing together have I missed with Scott and how has that affected my marriage (not that I think it's had a negative impact, but how much better could things be)?
This lesson is taught in the Bible, and I've always balked at it's message. Jesus is welcomed into the home of two sisters, Mary and Martha. Martha sets out to serve her road weary travelers, Mary sits at Jesus's feet and takes it all in, not helping with the preparations. When Martha complains, Jesus flat out tells her that Mary is the one who has chosen correctly. "And Jesus[l] answered and said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.' " Luke 10:41. I have always backed Martha. Maybe her love language is acts of service? And wasn't she being more like the Proverbs 31 wife, providing and showing good old fashioned Southern hospitality? I always compare Mary to.... this girl I know..... that at family gatherings sits around and visits while the rest of us set the table, fill glasses, and prepare all the food. This I find highly irritating......
I know that I'm not in Jesus's actual, physical presence, and no one has been for 2000 years, so this scenario doesn't literally apply. BUT, what if, by taking time to actually listen, interact, get to know someone, and just enjoy the moment, I learn something about Jesus's character, His love for others, compassion, humanity? You never saw Jesus doing something, other than teaching, healing, and being with his followers. How much stronger will my relationships be with my husband, son, friends, church family, and coworkers? Will I be more relaxed, move at a slower pace? That's the idea.
Soooo..... I'm still a busy working mom. I still want to strive to be the Proverbs 31 woman. And I still don't like just sitting around. But I am going to try. And, ironically, and being the goal driven woman that I am, I have an outline to help me stay on track:
1. When Coleman and Scott are home with me (and not asleep or doing their own thing), I will limit the amount of housework I do (like change out laundry here and there), not play on my phone or computer, and make a conscious effort to play, talk, and love on them.
2. I will attempt to get all pertinent housework and cooking done in the time between when Coleman goes to bed and Scott gets home.
3. I will stick around to visit (and I mean really visit) after church or at family gatherings or during other events.
4. I will ease up on mentally running through my to-do list all the time and actually listen and pay attention to what is going on around me.
5. I will get up 30 minutes earlier in the morning to get dressed and get organized so that when Coleman wakes I can give him my undivided attention, instead of plopping him down to play by himself while I get ready and run around.
6. We will go on more outings as a family, from trips to the park to travelling to visit friends and family.
7. Scott and I will start eating dinner at the table again.
8. Be more intentional in worship, prayer, and Bible study [God gets to be in on this one, too ;) ]
You get the idea. Anyone that knows me can see where this challenge may take me a whole year (or whole lifetime) to master. Slow down, enjoy the journey, build relationships instead of being known for being busy. Ready, set, go!!!!
This year, my mantra is "be present".
Explanation: I am a very task-motivated, goal-oriented, busy person. I don't sit idle for very long, if ever. I know that drove Scott nuts when we first married. He would get home and sit down to eat and then watch TV and relax. I would serve up dinner, sit and eat briefly, then get up to tidy the kitchen, finish a load of laundry, sort through the mail, work on a project, you name it. I've always been like this. I do it in social situations, too (like at church), never enjoying taking the time to visit, but ready to get out the door and on to the next thing. Now I am catching myself doing it with the precious few minutes I have each day with Coleman. I run into the next room to change out the laundry instead of playing with him. I check facebook while I'm nursing instead of soaking in his soft skin, cotton-top hair, and liquid blue eyes. I ignore his whining for a few minutes while I get dressed instead of picking him up and savoring this short period of time when he does want to be held and is going through some separation anxiety.
Am I teaching him that getting things done is more important that spending time together? Am I teaching him independence or loosing his trust that I will be there for him no matter what? Am I encouraging him to be a loner instead of interacting with others? How many opportunities for conversation, cuddling, a quick kiss or two, relaxing together have I missed with Scott and how has that affected my marriage (not that I think it's had a negative impact, but how much better could things be)?
This lesson is taught in the Bible, and I've always balked at it's message. Jesus is welcomed into the home of two sisters, Mary and Martha. Martha sets out to serve her road weary travelers, Mary sits at Jesus's feet and takes it all in, not helping with the preparations. When Martha complains, Jesus flat out tells her that Mary is the one who has chosen correctly. "And Jesus[l] answered and said to her, 'Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.' " Luke 10:41. I have always backed Martha. Maybe her love language is acts of service? And wasn't she being more like the Proverbs 31 wife, providing and showing good old fashioned Southern hospitality? I always compare Mary to.... this girl I know..... that at family gatherings sits around and visits while the rest of us set the table, fill glasses, and prepare all the food. This I find highly irritating......
I know that I'm not in Jesus's actual, physical presence, and no one has been for 2000 years, so this scenario doesn't literally apply. BUT, what if, by taking time to actually listen, interact, get to know someone, and just enjoy the moment, I learn something about Jesus's character, His love for others, compassion, humanity? You never saw Jesus doing something, other than teaching, healing, and being with his followers. How much stronger will my relationships be with my husband, son, friends, church family, and coworkers? Will I be more relaxed, move at a slower pace? That's the idea.
Soooo..... I'm still a busy working mom. I still want to strive to be the Proverbs 31 woman. And I still don't like just sitting around. But I am going to try. And, ironically, and being the goal driven woman that I am, I have an outline to help me stay on track:
1. When Coleman and Scott are home with me (and not asleep or doing their own thing), I will limit the amount of housework I do (like change out laundry here and there), not play on my phone or computer, and make a conscious effort to play, talk, and love on them.
2. I will attempt to get all pertinent housework and cooking done in the time between when Coleman goes to bed and Scott gets home.
3. I will stick around to visit (and I mean really visit) after church or at family gatherings or during other events.
4. I will ease up on mentally running through my to-do list all the time and actually listen and pay attention to what is going on around me.
5. I will get up 30 minutes earlier in the morning to get dressed and get organized so that when Coleman wakes I can give him my undivided attention, instead of plopping him down to play by himself while I get ready and run around.
6. We will go on more outings as a family, from trips to the park to travelling to visit friends and family.
7. Scott and I will start eating dinner at the table again.
8. Be more intentional in worship, prayer, and Bible study [God gets to be in on this one, too ;) ]
You get the idea. Anyone that knows me can see where this challenge may take me a whole year (or whole lifetime) to master. Slow down, enjoy the journey, build relationships instead of being known for being busy. Ready, set, go!!!!
Blogs that MUST be written....
Coleman...... so many blogs about Coleman
Christmas 2012
New Year's Resolutions
Exciting Possibilities
Home Improvements
Christmas 2012
New Year's Resolutions
Exciting Possibilities
Home Improvements
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