We've been sleep training this week...
Let me give you some background first: Coleman has always nursed himself to sleep. Even as a newborn, he would drift off, then fall off, then wake up, fuss and re-latch himself and start all over again. Consequently, I've been the only one who could put him down to sleep at our house. Somehow, at Suzan's house and at daycare and out in public, he'll fall asleep with rocking or swaying, but come time for bed or nap time at home, he has to 'suck to soothe'.
So, we were getting some sleep, but I was getting pretty tired. I figured out how to nurse laying down, which led to co-sleeping for naps, which led to co-sleeping at night, which meant a great night's sleep for Coleman, but Scott and I would wake up stiff and sore and not at all well-rested. Also, if I wasn't home at bedtime, he couldn't fall asleep and would end up severely over-tired.
I asked my pediatrician if he was old enough for sleep training and she said yes, that given his strong attachment to me and his strong association with nursing to fall asleep that the Ferber method would be best. This is a kind of "crying it out" with progressive waiting without picking him up if he's okay to teach him to fall asleep on his own. It sounds harsh, but it's harder on Momma than on the baby. Dr. Lovette also warned that her baby cried for FIVE HOURS the first night.
So here we go: at bed time the first night he cried for an hour, and then slept for 5 before waking up to eat, but went back to sleep on his own after crying for only 20 minutes. It's gotten easier each night with maybe only 10 minutes of crying each night at bedtime and going right back to sleep after a feeding or diaper change. The past two nights, he's gotten 12 hours of sleep (aside from brief wakings to eat) which is appropriate for an infant his age.
7 pm to 7 am. Perfect. Unless you realize that he gets dropped off at the sitter's at 7:45 and not picked up until 5:30 or a little later. Unless you realize that Scott leaves the house at 6 am and never gets home before 8 pm. I get about 2 hours with my baby, Scott hasn't seen him in 2 days. I knew this time was coming, but I was dreading it. I know that we're doing what's best for him, but honestly, I hate with every fiber of my being that I dont't get to spend more time with him.
Then there's the 'what-ifs'. What if he becomes more attached to the sitter than to us? What if he forgets who we are (especially Scott)? What if we miss every milestone from here on out? What if we're dissolving all of those special attachments and binding time and security that co-sleeping provided? What if my milk supply drops because he's not there to stimulate production all night? I feel so selfish to want to keep him awake longer, and then I feel selfish for getting him to bed early because it gives me some much needed time to get chores done, take sometime for myself and get some decent sleep.
So yes, sleep training has worked well, and I have a very happy baby in the mornings, but at a bigger cost to Scott and myself than I could have imagined. I think that's why I put it off so long and held on to being 'the only one' as long as I could. Like so many other things in our life right now, it's a catch 22. I suppose we'll muddle our way through this, too. I just hope we don't miss out on too much.
Showing posts with label Deep in thought. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Deep in thought. Show all posts
Friday, July 20, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Relationships
I knew that having a baby would change my relationships with people in some way, but I was by no means ready for the magnitude of that change. Some are subtle changes, like how I'm more understanding and sympathize more with strangers that have children or appreciate unasked for courtesies and kindnesses. Others are much more dramatic:
With friends: It depends on the friend. If they have children, young or old, it's like we're friends on a whole different level. I have a new understanding of their world- how all-consuming, overwhelming, and at times, gut-wrenching parenthood is. If they don't have friends, there is now a separation. Gone are the carefree shopping trips or impromptu movie nights, and they don't understand exactly why. The friends who have recently had babies are the best- they just get us. They know why we have to leave suddenly and why it takes days to return e-mails or phone calls. They are sounding boards for things like feeding and sleeping issues. Oh, and they have hand-me-downs and sage advice!
With family: I think we now understand how much our parents love us. It's come full circle. We can instantly brighten their day with a picture of or story about Coleman. The great-grandparents just beam when he's around and it's hard to not make him the center of attention. He has been such a blessing!
With myself: I'm not sure how to describe this one. Where I used to be so organized and a perfectionist, I can't remember the simplest things like "shut the closet door so Ali doesn't get in the laundry basket." I've always been very goal oriented, but right now my priorities center around getting what needs done today finished and ready for tomorrow. I'm very hard on myself, but I'm having to learn to cut myself some slack. I have realized how selfish I was B.C. (before Coleman) and how self-less I still need to become. Somewhere in that pendulum I do need to learn to make time for myself. My goal this week is to treat myself to a soak in our nice new very deep and wide bathtub. Here's hoping.
With Scott: This is the most shocking change. Having Coleman has united us in ways that I never dreamed of. Our marriage now has a purpose higher than honoring and loving each other. Our goal now is to live as an example and to raise this child of God into a servant. We are his example of how to live as Christians. We are his example of a loving, working marriage. Scott is his example of a father and husband. I am to display the qualities he should search for in a mate. It is an awesome responsibility, a bit overwhelming at times. And together we are a team. When I'm tired and at my wits end, he's there to soothe our crying child. When he's not sure what to do, I have the answer. I have fallen more in love with that man than I knew I could. To see him with our baby warms and softens my heart like butter. Even though we are exhausted and spend precious little time alone together, we are closer and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
With God: You know that whole Father-Child aspect of having a relationship with God? I always got the "Child" part of it, but now I think I'm beginning to understand how He loves us as a parent, as the Father. I'm sure as time goes on and Coleman grows up and makes his own choices I'll understand it even more. Additionally, I've always grown closer to God during times of trial, and if this isn't one, then I don't know what is. There are those times when you just plead and beg that he goes to sleep and that you somehow find the strength to go on. The other extreme is that moment when I am holding that sweet sleeping (or laughing) perfect angel and just praise God for making him just for us to care for and love. And there's every second in between, when you just aren't sure of yourself and need a little guidance and hope and pray and have faith that what you are doing is the right thing. Let go and let God.
My New Year's resolution was to "de-clutter" everything. I definitely am working towards that goal in this area of my life. Bring on the next 6 months!
With friends: It depends on the friend. If they have children, young or old, it's like we're friends on a whole different level. I have a new understanding of their world- how all-consuming, overwhelming, and at times, gut-wrenching parenthood is. If they don't have friends, there is now a separation. Gone are the carefree shopping trips or impromptu movie nights, and they don't understand exactly why. The friends who have recently had babies are the best- they just get us. They know why we have to leave suddenly and why it takes days to return e-mails or phone calls. They are sounding boards for things like feeding and sleeping issues. Oh, and they have hand-me-downs and sage advice!
With family: I think we now understand how much our parents love us. It's come full circle. We can instantly brighten their day with a picture of or story about Coleman. The great-grandparents just beam when he's around and it's hard to not make him the center of attention. He has been such a blessing!
With myself: I'm not sure how to describe this one. Where I used to be so organized and a perfectionist, I can't remember the simplest things like "shut the closet door so Ali doesn't get in the laundry basket." I've always been very goal oriented, but right now my priorities center around getting what needs done today finished and ready for tomorrow. I'm very hard on myself, but I'm having to learn to cut myself some slack. I have realized how selfish I was B.C. (before Coleman) and how self-less I still need to become. Somewhere in that pendulum I do need to learn to make time for myself. My goal this week is to treat myself to a soak in our nice new very deep and wide bathtub. Here's hoping.
With Scott: This is the most shocking change. Having Coleman has united us in ways that I never dreamed of. Our marriage now has a purpose higher than honoring and loving each other. Our goal now is to live as an example and to raise this child of God into a servant. We are his example of how to live as Christians. We are his example of a loving, working marriage. Scott is his example of a father and husband. I am to display the qualities he should search for in a mate. It is an awesome responsibility, a bit overwhelming at times. And together we are a team. When I'm tired and at my wits end, he's there to soothe our crying child. When he's not sure what to do, I have the answer. I have fallen more in love with that man than I knew I could. To see him with our baby warms and softens my heart like butter. Even though we are exhausted and spend precious little time alone together, we are closer and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
With God: You know that whole Father-Child aspect of having a relationship with God? I always got the "Child" part of it, but now I think I'm beginning to understand how He loves us as a parent, as the Father. I'm sure as time goes on and Coleman grows up and makes his own choices I'll understand it even more. Additionally, I've always grown closer to God during times of trial, and if this isn't one, then I don't know what is. There are those times when you just plead and beg that he goes to sleep and that you somehow find the strength to go on. The other extreme is that moment when I am holding that sweet sleeping (or laughing) perfect angel and just praise God for making him just for us to care for and love. And there's every second in between, when you just aren't sure of yourself and need a little guidance and hope and pray and have faith that what you are doing is the right thing. Let go and let God.
My New Year's resolution was to "de-clutter" everything. I definitely am working towards that goal in this area of my life. Bring on the next 6 months!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Three Days
"I got three days to wash the road out of my soul. I got three days to love you out of control. And I wish I had a lifetime to hold on to you this way. Love can do some healing in just three days."
~Pat Green, Three Days
This was on the radio when I left work Friday at noon. Okay, so yes, this is a love song- a great one, if you ask me. But the chorus kept playing over and over in my mind all weekend. Somehow, I managed to score a 3 and a 1/2 day weekend over Memorial Day and I was ecstatic. I promised myself to live it up and soak up every second and forget about the rest of the world. Three days with no plans other than to love on my sweet family. Heaven.
Saturday, Coleman and I laid around most of the morning. He nursed himself to sleep and set in for a nice long cuddly nap. Yeah, so, that might have put a hold on the earliest stages of sleep training and setting a napping schedule, but I really don't care. That afternoon we cleaned house a little while Scott finished mowing, weed-eating, and shredding the pasture. It is such a great feeling to have our new-to-us little house in order!
Sunday, we did the church thing. We were late, again, and Coleman was hungry when we got there, again, so the three of us just hung out in the cry room. Granddaddy was leading singing and Coleman was listening to it over the loud speaker. When I would sing along he would stop nursing and stare at me as if I was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen. He decided he was done eating and sat in Daddy's lap for a while. Then he really got going- he was laughing and talking and singing along. I think it was the first time Scott had heard him laugh out loud. After we finished singing a song he would keep cooing and squealing and get mad that we had stopped- it was just awesome. I heard bits and pieces of the sermon- something about helping one another out with our "demons" based off of the Legion passage- but who could think about demons when I'm looking at the love of my life hold our precious child?
Sunday evening was very special: Mom and her twin sister, Auntie Linda, spent the night in Bowie on their way to Arkansas to inter my Grandmother's ashes. I had forgotten how hilarious those two are when they get together!!! It was only Mom's second time to see Coleman and he's quite different now that he's almost 3 months old with all kinds of personality and not a sleepy, fussy 6 day old newborn. Scott cooked ribs and sausage and the Holloway's brought homemade ice cream. We gave our moms their Mother's Day presents- collage frames with pictures of their grand kid. They gushed, of course and then all of a sudden we realized it was after 10 p.m. and everyone went home. It was a great time!
Monday morning Mom and Auntie Linda came back over for a quick visit and then got on the road. We went to Kenton & Suzan's for hamburgers and then home for a nap. Auntie K and Suzan came over to entertain Coleman and help me finally decorate the house- it's really starting to look like home. We were getting close to being done when we noticed a rather ominous looking cloud bank headed our direction. We haven't gotten Internet or satellite yet and our phone service is awful, so we were shocked to hear that severe damaging winds and hail were headed our way. Suzan & Kendra went home to put their cars up and Scott and I inched our trucks into the barn.
Oh my, what a storm! First came that heavy, hot, and humid generalized eeriness. Then, it got pitch black, the trees started whipping around in all different directions, the lightning and thunder were nearly constant and it was scary. Reports are that winds were in excess of 90 miles per hour- I believe it. We have two large willow-ish trees (no idea what they really are) that are full of large dead branches from the drought last summer. One of them overhangs the back corner of the house and I just knew it was going to break off and damage the house or at least the roof. But no- first we lost a section of wooden panelled fence and the cows attempted an escape. Scott and our neighbor, rather stupidly, quickly put up portable panels in the midst of the storm. While he was out there (I was so mad at him!) one of our beautiful Bradford pear trees broke in half and landed 10 feet from him. He came in soaked and muddy and went to wash off, only to discover that we didn't have any water, or a well-house, or a well. The worst of the storm passed while we huddled on the couch and Coleman fell asleep in my arms, blissfully unaware of possible danger we were facing.
Monday night, we laid in bed, thankful that we didn't loose any more than we did. I was so incredibly grateful to have had that time to spend with my baby. And Scott. Three whole days. I've been back at work for 4 solid weeks and had to leave him at daycare every day. I know they take care of him very well and they love him to death, but it's been so hard. They get the best of him every single day- they are the ones that told me that he started laughing out loud, they got to rock him to sleep and watch him smile and told me he found his hands and can use them to bat at things. It breaks my heart to know that I'm missing out on these milestones. But believe me, I spent every second I could marveling at this amazing little human that God has placed in our lives. Tuesday was maybe harder to leave him than the first day back at work. I look forward to the next long break with my sweet family and plan to make it just as special- to love them out of control!
~Pat Green, Three Days
This was on the radio when I left work Friday at noon. Okay, so yes, this is a love song- a great one, if you ask me. But the chorus kept playing over and over in my mind all weekend. Somehow, I managed to score a 3 and a 1/2 day weekend over Memorial Day and I was ecstatic. I promised myself to live it up and soak up every second and forget about the rest of the world. Three days with no plans other than to love on my sweet family. Heaven.
Saturday, Coleman and I laid around most of the morning. He nursed himself to sleep and set in for a nice long cuddly nap. Yeah, so, that might have put a hold on the earliest stages of sleep training and setting a napping schedule, but I really don't care. That afternoon we cleaned house a little while Scott finished mowing, weed-eating, and shredding the pasture. It is such a great feeling to have our new-to-us little house in order!
Sunday, we did the church thing. We were late, again, and Coleman was hungry when we got there, again, so the three of us just hung out in the cry room. Granddaddy was leading singing and Coleman was listening to it over the loud speaker. When I would sing along he would stop nursing and stare at me as if I was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen. He decided he was done eating and sat in Daddy's lap for a while. Then he really got going- he was laughing and talking and singing along. I think it was the first time Scott had heard him laugh out loud. After we finished singing a song he would keep cooing and squealing and get mad that we had stopped- it was just awesome. I heard bits and pieces of the sermon- something about helping one another out with our "demons" based off of the Legion passage- but who could think about demons when I'm looking at the love of my life hold our precious child?
Sunday evening was very special: Mom and her twin sister, Auntie Linda, spent the night in Bowie on their way to Arkansas to inter my Grandmother's ashes. I had forgotten how hilarious those two are when they get together!!! It was only Mom's second time to see Coleman and he's quite different now that he's almost 3 months old with all kinds of personality and not a sleepy, fussy 6 day old newborn. Scott cooked ribs and sausage and the Holloway's brought homemade ice cream. We gave our moms their Mother's Day presents- collage frames with pictures of their grand kid. They gushed, of course and then all of a sudden we realized it was after 10 p.m. and everyone went home. It was a great time!
Monday morning Mom and Auntie Linda came back over for a quick visit and then got on the road. We went to Kenton & Suzan's for hamburgers and then home for a nap. Auntie K and Suzan came over to entertain Coleman and help me finally decorate the house- it's really starting to look like home. We were getting close to being done when we noticed a rather ominous looking cloud bank headed our direction. We haven't gotten Internet or satellite yet and our phone service is awful, so we were shocked to hear that severe damaging winds and hail were headed our way. Suzan & Kendra went home to put their cars up and Scott and I inched our trucks into the barn.
Oh my, what a storm! First came that heavy, hot, and humid generalized eeriness. Then, it got pitch black, the trees started whipping around in all different directions, the lightning and thunder were nearly constant and it was scary. Reports are that winds were in excess of 90 miles per hour- I believe it. We have two large willow-ish trees (no idea what they really are) that are full of large dead branches from the drought last summer. One of them overhangs the back corner of the house and I just knew it was going to break off and damage the house or at least the roof. But no- first we lost a section of wooden panelled fence and the cows attempted an escape. Scott and our neighbor, rather stupidly, quickly put up portable panels in the midst of the storm. While he was out there (I was so mad at him!) one of our beautiful Bradford pear trees broke in half and landed 10 feet from him. He came in soaked and muddy and went to wash off, only to discover that we didn't have any water, or a well-house, or a well. The worst of the storm passed while we huddled on the couch and Coleman fell asleep in my arms, blissfully unaware of possible danger we were facing.
Monday night, we laid in bed, thankful that we didn't loose any more than we did. I was so incredibly grateful to have had that time to spend with my baby. And Scott. Three whole days. I've been back at work for 4 solid weeks and had to leave him at daycare every day. I know they take care of him very well and they love him to death, but it's been so hard. They get the best of him every single day- they are the ones that told me that he started laughing out loud, they got to rock him to sleep and watch him smile and told me he found his hands and can use them to bat at things. It breaks my heart to know that I'm missing out on these milestones. But believe me, I spent every second I could marveling at this amazing little human that God has placed in our lives. Tuesday was maybe harder to leave him than the first day back at work. I look forward to the next long break with my sweet family and plan to make it just as special- to love them out of control!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Sad Day
Cleansing breath....
Reasons that it's a good thing to put my 8 week old child in day care:
1. Socialization - he'll be used to other kids and used to other people taking care of him
2. Scheduling - they'll give him some structure instead of indulging him at every turn
3. Variation - he'll get out of the house and be exposed to new things
4. Independance - he'll learn to rely on himself instead of on me
5. Good habits - he'll learn to fall asleep on his own (or at least without nursing) and maybe they'll get him to take a pacifier
That's what I'm telling myself, anyways. That's how I'm going to get through tomorrow, and the next day, and the next week, and the next month. The truth is I am heartbroken, utterly and totally. For sooo many reasons, too many to list. And I'm not sure if I'm just being a typical guilty-feeling back-to-work-full-time Mommy or if God has laid it on my heart so strongly that I'm supposed to completely change my life. That 8 years of school and 5 years of work isn't really what I'm meant to do with my life. This feels like the worst decision I've ever made, and the very thought of it has brought me to tears nearly every day for the past 8 weeks. Guilt compounds every time I'm tired and frustrated and my milk is low and then I feel like I'm wasting precious moments, that I should just be honored to be spending time with my sweet baby, even at 3 am.
So, tomorrow, I'm going to wear my waterproof mascara, leave the house early so I have time to go get a "fancy" coffee and cry in the truck before work, pump as often as possible - milk is the only connection I'll have to him during the day - and plaster a brave smile on my face, and count the seconds until 5:30. Here's hoping I have a lot of appointments tomorrow- maybe a farm call or two.
Reasons that it's a good thing to put my 8 week old child in day care:
1. Socialization - he'll be used to other kids and used to other people taking care of him
2. Scheduling - they'll give him some structure instead of indulging him at every turn
3. Variation - he'll get out of the house and be exposed to new things
4. Independance - he'll learn to rely on himself instead of on me
5. Good habits - he'll learn to fall asleep on his own (or at least without nursing) and maybe they'll get him to take a pacifier
That's what I'm telling myself, anyways. That's how I'm going to get through tomorrow, and the next day, and the next week, and the next month. The truth is I am heartbroken, utterly and totally. For sooo many reasons, too many to list. And I'm not sure if I'm just being a typical guilty-feeling back-to-work-full-time Mommy or if God has laid it on my heart so strongly that I'm supposed to completely change my life. That 8 years of school and 5 years of work isn't really what I'm meant to do with my life. This feels like the worst decision I've ever made, and the very thought of it has brought me to tears nearly every day for the past 8 weeks. Guilt compounds every time I'm tired and frustrated and my milk is low and then I feel like I'm wasting precious moments, that I should just be honored to be spending time with my sweet baby, even at 3 am.
So, tomorrow, I'm going to wear my waterproof mascara, leave the house early so I have time to go get a "fancy" coffee and cry in the truck before work, pump as often as possible - milk is the only connection I'll have to him during the day - and plaster a brave smile on my face, and count the seconds until 5:30. Here's hoping I have a lot of appointments tomorrow- maybe a farm call or two.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Church
Needless to say, nothing is the same as it was B.C. (Before Coleman). This includes going to church.
This morning we were rushing around to get all three of us ready and out the door in time to make it for worship (forget class!). I find this very stressful for some reason. Me rushing to get showered, dressed (so difficult since none of my clothes fit or the ones that do have limited boob access), fixed-up, and the diaper bag ready before he wakes up from his early morning nap. Then having to wake him from said nap to change his diaper yet again and load him up into his car seat. This sets him off and if we're lucky he's stopped crying before we get to town. Then you've got Scott, who comes in from the dairy, and in his own frustratingly slow, but endearing way, eats breakfast, shaves, showers and gets ready then acts like he's waiting on me (which he is, wonder why?).
So by the time we get to the building, I'm left wondering why on earth I even try. I'm not going to be able to focus on the lesson, even if I get to stay seated through it. If he's sleeping, I sit there and think about how I should be, too. Sometimes I question my motives: am I there to worship and praise my God or to show off my son and be showered with compliments? Or do I simply need an excuse to get out of the house?
Today was no exception. He started fussing before the children at the front stared the second song. It was time for brunch, so I took him in the cry room to feed him. As I sat there rocking my nursing baby, I realized how completely content I was. I was worshiping- I was in awe of God's handiwork, I was singing songs of praise, and He and Coleman were teaching me lessons I would never learn by just reading or listening to someone speak. He drifted off to sleep nursing and woke up when I burped him and was in a great mood. I laid him in the crib and he played and kicked and cooed until his heart was content. I have no idea what the sermon was about, but I overheard something about Godly joy. Looking down at my child smiling and talking back at me, I realized that I have the best example of earthly joy there is and I've been sooo lucky to have him for 24 hours a day for the past 6 weeks, 1 day.
I would have missed that lesson if he had just quietly slept through the service. So glad for this small inconvenience, which turned out to be so much more than just another feeding for Coleman. Instead, we both got fed to the fullest.
This morning we were rushing around to get all three of us ready and out the door in time to make it for worship (forget class!). I find this very stressful for some reason. Me rushing to get showered, dressed (so difficult since none of my clothes fit or the ones that do have limited boob access), fixed-up, and the diaper bag ready before he wakes up from his early morning nap. Then having to wake him from said nap to change his diaper yet again and load him up into his car seat. This sets him off and if we're lucky he's stopped crying before we get to town. Then you've got Scott, who comes in from the dairy, and in his own frustratingly slow, but endearing way, eats breakfast, shaves, showers and gets ready then acts like he's waiting on me (which he is, wonder why?).
So by the time we get to the building, I'm left wondering why on earth I even try. I'm not going to be able to focus on the lesson, even if I get to stay seated through it. If he's sleeping, I sit there and think about how I should be, too. Sometimes I question my motives: am I there to worship and praise my God or to show off my son and be showered with compliments? Or do I simply need an excuse to get out of the house?
Today was no exception. He started fussing before the children at the front stared the second song. It was time for brunch, so I took him in the cry room to feed him. As I sat there rocking my nursing baby, I realized how completely content I was. I was worshiping- I was in awe of God's handiwork, I was singing songs of praise, and He and Coleman were teaching me lessons I would never learn by just reading or listening to someone speak. He drifted off to sleep nursing and woke up when I burped him and was in a great mood. I laid him in the crib and he played and kicked and cooed until his heart was content. I have no idea what the sermon was about, but I overheard something about Godly joy. Looking down at my child smiling and talking back at me, I realized that I have the best example of earthly joy there is and I've been sooo lucky to have him for 24 hours a day for the past 6 weeks, 1 day.
I would have missed that lesson if he had just quietly slept through the service. So glad for this small inconvenience, which turned out to be so much more than just another feeding for Coleman. Instead, we both got fed to the fullest.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
One Month
Mr. Coleman~ [Everyone calls you Mr. Coleman, including me, I'm not really sure why]
Really, it's been one month? How is that even possible? I thought time went too quickly when I was pregnant. I don't know how I've already spent that much time with you. Other than one flying trip to Wichita Falls and one hour running errands while you and Daddy took a nap, I have spent the past 31 days getting to know you, learning everything I can about you and how to take care of you better, and falling in love with you. We are beyond fascinated with you. We are amazed at your
~noises: you have started to coo and grunt and find your voice. Sometimes you even laugh in your sleep, which sounds more like a hiccup, but you have a smile on your face and we can tell you are dreaming. We're also trying to learn the difference in your cries, but don't have you figured out yet. And your screaming- my gracious! It's easy to tell when you've had enough!
~movements: your "Moro reflex" is becoming more and more controlled. Your arms still get a little out of control and I think they scare you sometimes, but now you use them to wave around when you're happy. You also kick your feet around and use them to push yourself forward and "stand", with lots of help, of course. You also use your arms and legs to help you throw the biggest fits ever, flailing sporadically, kicking, grabbing at anything to find some comfort.
~expressions: We have never seen anyone communicate more with his face than you do. You have started smiling, which melts my heart. You have the cutest confused look- you wrinkle your brow and purse your lips. When you are mad- oh my gracious! Your bottom jaw quivers as you scream and then you clamp your lips together and roll your bottom lip out so far and pout. You get really excited when it's time to eat- your eyes get really big and your eyebrows go up and you open your mouth as wide as possible. And then, if we try to give you a pacifier, you get that confused look and then push it out and clamp your lips together and look at me like you are disgusted. I can always tell what you are thinking- and I love that.
~tiny little body: you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your miniature body is just perfect and you have the softest skin. I am amazed that our Creator used your Daddy and myself to form you. All of your little organs and parts are working just as they should and I am in awe.
~ your features: I remember wondering, with your Daddy, what you would look like. We knew you would have blond hair, blue eyes, and light skin, but you are such a perfect combination of us. You have a ton of blond hair and definitely have Daddy's widow's peak. You have his ears and the "Harrington bump" on your right ear- according to Grandma. We're not sure whose eyes you have, but they are the most gorgeous shade of blue. I think they will be more like Daddy's- mine have lines in them and his are lighter in the center and so far I think they look like his. You also definitely have the Holloway nose. You have very full lips, and while we both have that, again, they have more definition like his do. So, while I can see more of him than me, you seem to have my chin and face shape- which is why everyone thinks you look like me. You also love to hold your right hand up by your face and I love it when you fall asleep on my chest with your arms up above your head like I do.
~your development: I have loved watching you stretch out and grow. You (We) have learned how to nurse and are doing... okay with that. You are holding your head up very well and like tummy time and playing around on you mat. Also, instead of just screaming for everything, you try to get our attention in other ways- and then your scream if we don't get it immediately. You have also started tracking us from side to side with your eyes and will even turn your head to look at us. :)
~your personality: I think that you are going to be a very strong-willed child. You want what you want when you want it. There is no letting you "cry it out". Your mood changes at the drop of a hat- cooing and kicking around one minute and crying the next. It's already quite apparent that you have a temper- we think that comes from Grandaddy. You like to be picked up and everyone tells me I'm spoiling you, but I don't buy it. You are very attached to me, which of course I love, but I worry that you are going to have a hard time when I go back to work. Also, you are very social and if something is going on around you, you have to be looking around and fight sleep to take it all in, if necessary.
Love,
Mommy & Daddy
 |
| Coleman Scott Holloway April 3, 2012 |
Really, it's been one month? How is that even possible? I thought time went too quickly when I was pregnant. I don't know how I've already spent that much time with you. Other than one flying trip to Wichita Falls and one hour running errands while you and Daddy took a nap, I have spent the past 31 days getting to know you, learning everything I can about you and how to take care of you better, and falling in love with you. We are beyond fascinated with you. We are amazed at your
~noises: you have started to coo and grunt and find your voice. Sometimes you even laugh in your sleep, which sounds more like a hiccup, but you have a smile on your face and we can tell you are dreaming. We're also trying to learn the difference in your cries, but don't have you figured out yet. And your screaming- my gracious! It's easy to tell when you've had enough!
~movements: your "Moro reflex" is becoming more and more controlled. Your arms still get a little out of control and I think they scare you sometimes, but now you use them to wave around when you're happy. You also kick your feet around and use them to push yourself forward and "stand", with lots of help, of course. You also use your arms and legs to help you throw the biggest fits ever, flailing sporadically, kicking, grabbing at anything to find some comfort.
~expressions: We have never seen anyone communicate more with his face than you do. You have started smiling, which melts my heart. You have the cutest confused look- you wrinkle your brow and purse your lips. When you are mad- oh my gracious! Your bottom jaw quivers as you scream and then you clamp your lips together and roll your bottom lip out so far and pout. You get really excited when it's time to eat- your eyes get really big and your eyebrows go up and you open your mouth as wide as possible. And then, if we try to give you a pacifier, you get that confused look and then push it out and clamp your lips together and look at me like you are disgusted. I can always tell what you are thinking- and I love that.
~tiny little body: you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your miniature body is just perfect and you have the softest skin. I am amazed that our Creator used your Daddy and myself to form you. All of your little organs and parts are working just as they should and I am in awe.
~ your features: I remember wondering, with your Daddy, what you would look like. We knew you would have blond hair, blue eyes, and light skin, but you are such a perfect combination of us. You have a ton of blond hair and definitely have Daddy's widow's peak. You have his ears and the "Harrington bump" on your right ear- according to Grandma. We're not sure whose eyes you have, but they are the most gorgeous shade of blue. I think they will be more like Daddy's- mine have lines in them and his are lighter in the center and so far I think they look like his. You also definitely have the Holloway nose. You have very full lips, and while we both have that, again, they have more definition like his do. So, while I can see more of him than me, you seem to have my chin and face shape- which is why everyone thinks you look like me. You also love to hold your right hand up by your face and I love it when you fall asleep on my chest with your arms up above your head like I do.
~your development: I have loved watching you stretch out and grow. You (We) have learned how to nurse and are doing... okay with that. You are holding your head up very well and like tummy time and playing around on you mat. Also, instead of just screaming for everything, you try to get our attention in other ways- and then your scream if we don't get it immediately. You have also started tracking us from side to side with your eyes and will even turn your head to look at us. :)
~your personality: I think that you are going to be a very strong-willed child. You want what you want when you want it. There is no letting you "cry it out". Your mood changes at the drop of a hat- cooing and kicking around one minute and crying the next. It's already quite apparent that you have a temper- we think that comes from Grandaddy. You like to be picked up and everyone tells me I'm spoiling you, but I don't buy it. You are very attached to me, which of course I love, but I worry that you are going to have a hard time when I go back to work. Also, you are very social and if something is going on around you, you have to be looking around and fight sleep to take it all in, if necessary.
Love,
Mommy & Daddy
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Revelations
Surprising things God has taught me (or re-affirmed) through my 4 week old:
- When nothing else works, remain calm and be still in the Lord.
- Hymns make the best lullabies.
- Sometimes you just need to be held by Daddy.
- Patience, patience, patience......
- God will never give you more than you can handle.
- Children are meant to be raised in a family.
- Love always has room to grow.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help.
I know there are more (that I thought of this morning at 3 am) but I can't remember them right now, for some reason. :)
- When nothing else works, remain calm and be still in the Lord.
- Hymns make the best lullabies.
- Sometimes you just need to be held by Daddy.
- Patience, patience, patience......
- God will never give you more than you can handle.
- Children are meant to be raised in a family.
- Love always has room to grow.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help.
I know there are more (that I thought of this morning at 3 am) but I can't remember them right now, for some reason. :)
 |
| Peace that passes understanding |
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