Friday, August 24, 2012

Tough week

Quick vent so I can move on:

It's been a rough week at the Holloway home.

Scott's great Grandma Vera who is 98 had to have surgery to remove a necrotic facial mass. She did grat during anesthesia and is recovering well, but the mass was more invasive than they thought, the weren't able to get it all, and had to cut wider margins than they had planned, so there's a good chance that here skin won't be able to hold the sutures well. We think she is coming home today, so that's good.

Kenton has been in Lubbock since Tuesday with her. When would anyone think they would have to be the primary caretaker for his grandmother? I'm sure he is emotionally and physically exhausted. Also, the man hates to be gone from home (more acurately, from the dairy) so I'd be willing to bet he's getting impatient.

So, since Kenton's been gone, Scott's been in charge of the dairy and working longer hours than usual, as in 4 am to 8 or 9 pm. He's worn out and burnt out. We've seen each other less than an hour a day, right before bed, you know, when we're at our best. He hasn't held his son since Sunday and has only laid eyes on him twice, in his car seat, at the dairy, for about 5 minutes each time. My prayer is that he doesn't unravel before his dad gets home.

Coleman is finally over his stomach virus, but quite sleeping at daycare, which meant that he quit sleeping at night, so I had been up with him 4 or 5 times a night. We had a chat about that with the daycare staff and may have finally broken that over-tired cycle. He slept great Wednesday night and did okay last night, but woke up at 6 this morning. I forgot to leave them his bottle this morning and they were fighting to put him down for a nap when I got there, so showed them what I do and then left- maybe that worked.

On top of all this, I threw my back out last Monday (changing a diaper). I can't take any kind of pain mess except Tylenol (which turns my milk pink, gross!) so it took a while to get over it. The I did it again yesterday morning. Do you have any idea how much fun it is to give a baby a bath, change diapers, nurse, rock, carry, and pick a baby up out of a crib with a super painful back? Jolena, I know you hear me. Also, this incident really shed some light on who takes care of the house. But I can't get mad, because he hasn't been home long enough to get a decent night's sleep in several weeks.

Okay, rant over. The weekend will be here in 6 hours. Plans are to keep Coleman up way past his bed time (I know....) to go see Daddy play his last softball game of the season tonight. Tomorrow, C and I are headed East to go see my best vet school friend Amanda and her new baby Landon; she hasn't met Coleman either, so it should be fun! Sunday is our preacher's last day to serve our congregation, so we have a big fellowship meal planned and then it's family day! I also have hopes of getting a few more things done in Coleman's room - here's to wishful thinking!!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Goal Updates

Well, huh. Some goals going okay, others not so much.

Checking in as follows:

1. Decorating: Coleman's room is close to being finished. I need Scott to build me a wooden valance and put the Circle H brand on it, and finish his drawing, and bring the level home so I can hang some hooks. Then I need to print out some pictures and frame them and finish his chicken-wire bulletin board. One or two more touches and I'll be done. I have 15 more days. And counting.

2. Moving: I managed to get the green wooden shelf moved into the back room and set up and have a few books on it. Still need to get the stuff from our downtown storage and the little building at our old house. And then unpack it. :)

3. Exercising. Not so much. I do have to go to a wedding on November 9 and would like it if I weighed maybe 10 pounds less. I have just about 12 weeks until then and could maybe work my way up to a 5K by adding a 1/4 mile each week. Trick is finding time to do it when it's not 105+ degrees. Oh, and I threw my back out changing Coleman's diaper on Monday.

4. Breastfeeding. Going well. Have worked up to 4.5 ounces three times daily at daycare. Decided that 5 oz is too much for a breast fed baby. Have a small stash saved from his recent stomach virus when he wasn't supposed to nurse for a few days. Keep on truckin'.

5. Sleep. Cry-it-out sleep training went well, at first. He will only fall asleep on his tummy and only if he's sleepy enough. If he's mad at the world and doesn't want to be in bed, he flips himself over but not back. We did great the first week: to bed at 7, woke up once a night to eat, then slept until 6:30 or 7. However, due to vacation and illness, he now wakes up at 10, 1, 4, and before 6. I have been feeding him each time, just because I think he got dehydrated and obviously lost lots of Calories while he was sick- I think he's making up for lost time with a pseudo-growth spurt. For the most part, however, he goes down very easily and sleeps well. We will revisit this soon.

6. Stickers. Did I mention that we had 3 weeks of over 105+ degree temps? And that I threw my back out earlier this week?

7. Bible study & Quiet time. Combine that with number 8. being a better wife. I used my obsession with social media to help me out on these. First, I get a daily FB post with the link to today's reading from My Utmost for His Highest- very deep and insightful posts. Second, yes, I know it's taboo for a COC gal, but I listen to Christian radio in the truck nearly exclusively. Is it not better to have the lyrics of a hymn stuck in my head than a song about bars? It's not in a worship setting, but I need to make sure I'm not making excuses. Third, I read a book (on my iPad, no less) and have started following a blog by Sara Horn called "My so-called life as a Proverbs 31 Wife". I am going to, hopefully, host a bible study/book study with the ladies in my young adult Bible class. There is a lot of interest from my friends, I think we all crave that fellowship and closeness that comes from studying God's word with each other, and I think that we will all make this a priority. This book really spoke to me about being a better wife and has challenged me to come up with new ways to love my hubby and I find myself praying for everything much more. However.... I need to work on getting back to the source- to studying, edifying, and searching the Bible for myself.

9. Housework and cooking. Also part of being the Proverbs 31 wife. I am doing better with this, until this week when I hurt my back, which makes it hard to scrub the shower, do dishes, and sweep the dirt into the dustpan. You should see me give Coleman a bath. We've also eaten at home much more this week because I finally made it to Wal-Mart.

10. Make time for myself. I got a haircut last week. The week before I was sick and slept for a day but then went shopping with Mom for a few hours to get decorations for the house. The week before that we were in San Antonio for the week and I had lots of downtown. So while I haven't made specific time for myself, I have had some down time each week.

If I give myself an overall grade: C

On to next month.

5 Months

Stop growing up, little boy!

I don't know how you do it, but you keep stealing more and more of my heart daily. You have changed so much and month 4 has definitely been my favorite so far.

It's been a very big month for you! You made your maiden voyage to the Frio River and got "baptized" in that sacred swimming hole. You love to swim! We stayed with cousins Franklin and Kathleene and you had a big time with your other cousins Victoria, Isabelle, and Whit. The car ride was, um, rocky, and wore us all out, but I think we broke you of your aversion to car seats, because the next long drive we took went just fine. We had also traveled down to South Texas to celebrate the 100th birthday of your great-great Aunt Jency Runnels. She is my grandmother's sister and looks incredible for her age. Also at that party was another little baby named Coleman that was born on your birthday. He is Cousin Jeff's cousin, so we're not really related, but it was still neat!

We took a DFA trip to the yearly YC meeting down on the Riverwalk in San Antonio. You were a trooper and got Mommy out of most of the boring meetings. We showed you the Alamo, but you were more interested in the water, the ducks, and all of the lights, sounds, and people. You were a perfect kiddo in the car ride there and back- I couldn't have been more proud of you!

G-mama came to visit, but had to cut it short because Mommy and Daddy got sick, and then a few days later we gave it to you (so sorry!). It was great to have her here to take care of you and you played and read books and told her all of your secrets. We managed to go shopping and got some great stuff for your room, though! Sorry your nursery isn't quite finished, but it's coming along great and I will have it done by the end of the month [if Daddy will help me :)]
You started back to daycare near the end of the month to give Nana a break before school started. You seem to really like it there and are getting back into the swing of things pretty well. I'm not sure you nap all that well, because you don't sleep as well as before, but I know that you are well taken care of!

My favorite thing about you right now, though, by far, is your hair.

It defies gravity. It is soft and white. It's getting thicker every day. A-mazing.

You look more and more like your Daddy every day and I was struggling to find something that resembles me. I think your eyes are more like mine than his. But then I noticed you have cellulite in your little thighs- yep, definately got that from me!

Your new accomplishments include:
- intentionally reaching for and grabbing things
- sitting up for longer amounts of time, although you still prefer to be held
- sleeping longer stretches (that is, until we went on vacation)
- going to sleep without nursing
- talking, singing, and laughing more and more

And, the most exciting thing for Mommy is.... (drumroll please)..... you will take a pacifier!!!!!!
Your stats:
-14 pounds, 9 ounces (on the cat scale at the clinic)
-Size 2 diapers
-Wearing 3-6 month clothes that are starting to get too short but still have plenty of room
-Sleeping anywhere from 4-6 (once or twice 9 hours) at a time at night
-Still eating at least once at night
-Drink 3 4.5 oz bottles during the day at daycare and nurse for breakfast, dinner, and a 2 am snack

Other exciting things:
-You are teething and love to gum your teething keys, teething beads, the ring that goes in the freezer, and Mommy's knuckles
- I think you try to kiss me on the cheek like I do to you, but you end up just kind of giving me a very slobbery, open mouth fish kiss.
- You still love to be held, but will lean over to see things, especially Ali, and will try to grab anything I am holding
- You are starting to figure out that you can play in the water at bath time. You stare at your hand underwater and splash a little and then try to decide what just happened.

We love you soooooo much Coleman and are honored to get to be your parents!

Poor sick baby!

Co-mingling: To blend, mix, merge, or integrate.

In vet med, we use this term to refer to a load of mixed calves that have been brought from different ranches and combined into a new herd, sharing all kinds of germs and disease. These cattle often become sick due to stress and being exposed to different illnesses.

And so it is at daycare. Ugh.

The first time he was at daycare in May, he got a wicked cold that proceeded to cause a conjunctivitis. Mommy got a horrible cold and a soar throat and was prescribed antibiotics from a bonehead MD that wouldn't listen to me when I told him I was nursing. Before I got a clear answer on if I could even take them, I felt better. So now I have a back up Z-pack, just in case.

This time, he ended up with a nasty viral enteritis. And disgusting, green, ropey nasal discharge. I normally only have to change a dirty diaper every 3-5 days, which is normal for a breast fed baby (milk is highly digestible). I changed 6-8 dirty diapers every day for 5 days. It's hard to tell if he was vomiting, but there was defiantly an increase in spit-up. I'm fairly certain he got dehydrated; there was no way I was keeping his ins and outs balanced. Each time I called his pediatrician I got conflicting or different instructions. First just feed him as regular, then don't feed him until the diarrhea stops, then add culturelle, now just pedialyte, Benadryl for his nose. *sigh*

He missed daycare Friday and Monday, and we kept him home from church Sunday. But we made it through, he's starting to have more regular diapers, acting like he feels better and sleeping for 3-4 hour stretches, instead of waking me up 5 or 6 times a night. And yeah, I feed him each time he wakes, just because I'm worried that he still needs fluids, so all of our sleep training is flying out the window.

Oh, and did I mention that he gave it to everyone at the clinic? They dropped like flies each day. We have decided to start keeping track of all of his illnesses by giving them their own alphanumeric system and see how many sicknesses we get this year. This will be the first and we're calling it C1H1.  Super glad he goes to daycare (extreme sarcasm here).

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

NIP

It is National Public Display of Breastfeeding Day. Nursing in public, or NIP.

Call me conservative, but I think this is a bit ridiculous. Yes, it is great that it is legal for a woman to breastfeed her child any time, any where. Babies need to eat, regularly, and if they are all like my sweet one, they want to eat now. So it is nice that, should the situation arise, I have the legal right to take care of business.

And the campaign to "normalize breastfeeding" is a noble one. For years, it was such taboo, no one talked about it, did it, even considered it. So there is a lot of misinformation out there. Breastfed and formula babies gain weight differently, feed differently, sleep differently, even poop differently. There are extra challenges associated with breastfeeding- getting latch on figured out, timing of feedings, pain, supply issues, demand on a mother- that formula feeders don't face. And don't get me started about trying to work full time and have an exclusively breast fed baby (via bottle). I'm sitting in a hot office in a horse barn pumping between appointments as I type. But there are soooo many awesome reasons to nurse: mother-baby bond, antibodies, jaw development, convenience (most of the time), hormonal effects for mom, helping my body get back to normal (sort of).

So it is great that women a raising awareness, but I think we may have taken it a tad too far. Personally, I feel uncomfortable nursing in front of most people. Scott, my MIL, my SIL, and my mother are the only ones I routinely nurse in front of. Oh yeah, and my pediatrician, LC, and the nurses at the hospital, but they are medical professionals. I have nursed, with a cover, at family gatherings (some distance away) and at church in the nursery or cry room. If I'm out in public, I usually hop in the back of the truck with the a/c on and park at the far end of the parking lot, still covered.

You can call me a prude or old fashioned if you want, but you can also take a look at my closet and see all kinds of modest clothes. No barely there triangle bikinis or see through tops for me. In fact, I had to buy shirts that were more boob accessible so that I could nurse. The reason has a lot to do with my morals and beliefs that my body is meant to be seen and appreciated by Scott only. Additionally, I am aware of how visually stimulated men are, and even if on accident, a peep show will not edify my brothers in Christ. And, I don't appreciate it when other people do things that make me uncomfortable, why should I put them in a position that makes them feel awkward.

So yes, I support and will be a proponent of breast feeding. Is breast feeding in public for me? Absolutely not. Will I judge those that do? Absolutely not. I simply don't feel that busting out in front of a lot of strangers is the best way to get the point across (puns intended). As with anything, religion included, shoving something in someone's face is not a pleasant way to make them change their mind. Unless they happen to be a pervert.