Last June, my
in-laws went on a vacation that combined two of their favorite things: the church
and the mountains. For the past 30
years, the Red River Family Encampment has been blessing the lives of campers
in the mountains of New Mexico through time spent in praise and worship,
excellent speakers, and a variety of Bible classes. My in-laws came home raving
about it and bribed their children with paying for the accommodations if we
would commit to going. Shortly after the cabin was booked, we found out I was
pregnant with our second child. A quick look at the calendar confirmed that we
would most likely be taking a 6 week old newborn and our 4 year old with us on
vacation…. Hesitantly, we decided to make the 9 hour drive for the week-long
trip.
Any mom knows
that vacation when you are with children isn’t really a vacation. You are still
Mommy, just at the beach, or in the mountains, or at Disneyland. There are
still 3 am feedings, baths, dirty clothes, blow-out diapers, and can I get a
cyber-hug for the over-tired, different time zone bed time battles with a 4
year old and newborn sleeping in the same room 2 feet from the adjoining
in-laws room?? I failed to realize this. I had psyched myself up for our first
vacation in nearly 3 years. We were going where it was cooler and rainier, there
was a lot to see and do, I was going to get to re-connect with my husband. Most importantly, and we were going to hear
some awesome speakers and recharge, something this tired, post-partum momma
desperately needed.
Notsomuch.
Do you remember
Sundays with small children? Trying to get everyone up and fed and dressed to
get to church on time? A child not wanting to go to Bible class? Keeping
children occupied and quiet for an hour during the sermon? Walking around and
patting and bouncing and swaying with a newborn outside or in the foyer
(completely missing the sermon) so they would go to sleep, only to have someone
touch them or a loud noise startle them awake?!?! Hoping for a long Sunday afternoon nap, only
to realize you had something else scheduled that afternoon before going back
for evening services? THAT was what I
did on my summer vacation. For five days.
 |
| How I spent my summer vacation.... |
It was ugly, and
we were miserable. In the presence of ALL my in-laws (it was a small cabin).
Our misery was brought into sharp focus for me by watching said in-laws having
a great time, going to do fun things together, relaxing, and getting so much
out of the camp. Yes, they helped out every now and again when they could tell
we were at the absolute breaking point or to give us 5 minutes to eat or shower.
But it was their vacation, too, so we tried not to pawn our kids off on them any
more than necessary.
I was insanely
jealous. If anyone ever needed to have fun and recharge and relax, it’s the
parents of a 6 week old. My husband would take our son to go fishing or hiking
or to play on the playground while I was stuck feeding or getting the baby back
to sleep. He would keep him occupied during sermons while I paced back and
forth outside with her. I remember
sitting in a sermon at camp watching my sisters-in-law take notes and thinking,
“I hope they know how lucky they are!” It was very isolating.
One night, as I
was inside trying to get the children to sleep and everyone else was outside
visiting and playing games, it dawned on me what was going on. I texted my dear
friend, who was also at the camp. I knew
she was in her hotel by herself trying to get her child to sleep as well, because
her husband was outside visiting with my husband.
Me: “Sorry it’s late…. Does it sound strange to
say that I think Satan has been after me this week? Keeping me from hearing the
gospel, worshiping, and studying? And then wearing me out so much with the
kids that when I can attend a class I can’t stay focused?”
Her: “No, not at all. I’ve kinda been in the same
mood. I think he will do anything he can to keep us from learning/worshiping.”
That thought
changed my focus for the rest of the trip (read: 2 days) but I forgot about it
until this past Sunday morning. We’ve had an over-tired, fussy, restless baby
on our hands this past week. We’ve done anything and everything we can to get
her to go to sleep and to stay asleep. In fact, she hasn’t slept more than 2 ½
hours at a time this whole week. Saturday we kind of turned a corner and she
got some great naps in and went to bed very easily. I only got up with her once
and she went back to sleep around 4:30 am. I had set my alarm for 7:30 so we’d
have plenty of time to get ready for Sunday services, but we woke up at 8
(which never happens- 4 year old and a baby, remember?). We rushed around and
got ready and then went to wake up the kids.
And here’s where
we got caught: we made the decision to not wake up the baby, and that I would
stay home with her and let her sleep. I
found myself cleaning the kitchen when I should
have been in Bible class and realized what had happened. Once again, Satan had
used my children as pawns to keep me from learning and worshiping.
I read a blog
not too long ago called “When Satan Steals Your Motherhood” about
how easy it is for him to use the insurmountable task of raising children to
breed bitterness, weariness, and hopelessness inside a mother’s heart. That
really hit home with me. What I see him doing now is taking it a step further
and using them to prevent young parents from learning, praying and worshiping.
How many times
have I had to leave a service or Bible class with a crying child? How many times
have I just gotten into bed at the end of a long day and skipped my nightly
Bible reading? In truth, my prayers since my baby has been born have been
primarily something along the lines of, “Please Dear God, let this baby go to
sleep.” I also admit that I don’t even take my Bible to worship anymore- I use
the Bible app on my phone (sorry to any preachers who thought I was texting!)
because it’s too hard to turn pages and hold a squirmy baby (disclaimer: I am
not saying Bible apps are wrong, but I am a visual learner and I need to take
notes and highlight and underline to fully absorb a lesson). When I do get to
sit in the pew during a sermon I am most likely trying to keep my 4 year old
quiet or I have zoned out from sleep deprivation. How many times have I just wanted to skip
Wednesday night Bible class altogether because it’s been a long week and we
won’t get home until well after bedtime? So many times I sit down to take a
break during naptime to read or write and it’s like a cue for the baby to wake
up.
Parents
everywhere are thinking, “That’s just part of raising children, at least you
are bringing them to church!” There is a lot to be said for setting an example
and establishing a routine. But this pattern is going to be my norm for at
least eight years.
- · EIGHT YEARS without fully hearing or focusing on a sermon.
- · EIGHT YEARS being distracted during praise & worship.
- · EIGHT YEARS hoping your kid doesn’t knock over the communion trays instead of taking in the weight of what those symbols represent.
- · EIGHT YEARS being so busy caring for others that sitting down to read the Bible for 15 minutes seems like a huge guilty luxury.
- · EIGHT YEARS of missing out on close fellowship because I am constantly making sure my kids aren’t about to fall off the slide on the playground after services.
That’s a whole
lot of missed time worshiping, meditating, studying, and communing with Christ
and spending time the Word and with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
Parents are specifically instructed to teach their children, the next generation of
believers, about Christ and His love for us in order to perpetuate the Kingdom
of Heaven. Satan has got to see that if he makes it sooo hard to bring children
to worship and Bible class that he has prevented the next generation from knowing
and loving God. What are the old proverbs? "An ounce of prevention is
worth a pound of cure?" "The best defense is a great offense?"
If you don't believe that he will use every single trick in the book to attempt
to stop God's people from becoming strong in the Lord, get ready to be
blind-sided, just like I was.
So what’s the
solution? First, I think recognizing that, like my friend said, Satan can use
anything from keep us from worshiping and learning- even our precious
children. Recognize that attending services and singing praises to the Lord is
very threatening to Satan. Second, do what you can to study, worship, and pray
outside of formal services and classes; learn when and while you can. This is
huge. My new biggest piece of advice to expecting parents is to build up their
relationship with Christ as much as possible before the bundle of joy arrives,
so that they are used to seeking Him in everything, even at 3 a.m. Bonus, when
you study outside of the church setting, you are setting a wonderful example to
your children. Third, Pray. Pray for strength to endure and not give in and
just stay home or go to bed before spending time with the Lord. Pray for resilience
when you miss the sermon again and start to wonder “what is the point?” Pray
for your children when you start to become frustrated. And finally, find an
ally: your spouse, another family in the trenches with young children, your extended
family (or church family) that is willing to give you a break from time to
time.
"Children are a heritage from the Lord". (Psalm 127:3) Jesus loved children
and used them numerous times to teach his disciples. Raising them up in the way
of the Lord is of utmost importance. Why else would Satan do everything he
could to keep their parents from going through so much stress to get them to
church and isolate the parents into “baby jail”? Recognize the enemy. “Submit
yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
(James 4:7 ESV). Instead of fighting
your children in the pews, fight to keep them, and yourself, there.
