Waiting not so patiently

I am so near the end of a process I started in April I can hardly stand it!! I applied for a government loan repayment program for veterinarians that are willing to serve in “underserviced” areas of the country. There is currently a severe shortage of cow vets in this country, so this is the governments answer, bribery. It’s actually not a bad deal and my clinic just so happens to be in one of those underserviced areas!! They will repay up to (key phrase) $25,000 a YEAR for a minimum contract of 3 years service, and you can serve for more than that. I spent a month or so tracking down and documenting all of my vet school loans (eek! Did I really borrow that much!!), getting recommendations, carefully writing a personal statement, and double checking everything in my application. Last I heard was on July 14th confirming that they had received my entire application and that it had entered the review process. They are supposed to let me know by EMAIL (who sends out such important info by email???) by September 30th. Twelve more days…..

Had I never heard of this program, I wouldn’t have missed it. Yes, I would have spent 8-10 more years automatically shunting 1/3 of my take home pay to student loans, but I carefully budgeted for that and am not going hungry. But now that I’ve done 1 million calculations in my head about how it may be possible to be debt free in as little as 4 years, I’m going to be devastated if I don’t get the award.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just the money. There is so much more at stake. First of all, if the debt is paid off that soon, it would be a really great opportunity to only work part time for a few years and get to be a mommy. This is something I never ever thought of while I was in school, but haunts me now. How in the world are Scott and I going to have enough time to properly raise a family. A constant question. Second, and this is the biggie, whether or not I get the award has become “the sign” as to if we should stay here at CTVH and the dairy or move on and start a new life of our own. HUGE decision and it’s all weighing on the government of the United States- great!

Why would we move, you ask? Well, at the beginning of the year, neither one of us was really satisfied with our jobs. I was in a slump and am now out of it. Scott loves the dairy lifestyle, but finds that Twin Oaks lacks in efficiency, technology, and profitability. All major, well-founded concerns. We had made a deal back in January that if we both weren’t happy by the end of the year, we would leave. As it currently stands, I am happy and Scott is miserable. If I get the money, that becomes a huge incentive to stay. “No, you can keep your $75,000 of free money!” Not so much. But at the same time, it’s not fair to make Scott continue to be unhappy for 3 more years if I get the money.

So you see where I might be lacking in the patience department…..