Church Family LOVE

The past two days, I have really felt the presence and importance of having a supportive church family. I have witnessed the amazing power of love for your brethren, not first hand, but as a participant and bystander.

Two of my very best friends went through a nasty custody hearing for their two children yesterday. We don't know the results just yet, and I'll spare you the courtroom drama, but I'll just tell you it is heartbreaking. This has been on-going since last summer when their kids decided they wanted to go live with their biological mother, and we have been praying constantly and walking this journey with them.

Monday night, one of my husband's buddies called and said they were going to meet with the husband to pray. Scott came home and TWENTY MEN had shown up, all of the elders and deacons, a former minister, their close circle of friends that recently started a "raising Godly children" Bible study. They each took turns praying over him, praying for all aspects of the hearing, from the judge to the ex-wife, to all the witnesses, to the children.

Tuesday morning, nearly 40 church members showed up for the hearing. Most stayed until it was over (originally scheduled for 9 am, it got bumped back to 1:30 and wasn't over until 4:30). 40 members, somewhere between 1/4 -1/5 of the regular Sunday morning crowd. I wasn't able to attend, but it still overwhelms my heart that so many people care so much about this family that they would sit in an uncomfortable courtroom and stand in the gap for one of our own.

I took my friend "to get a coke" (Texas code for: "go to Sonic, get any kind of beverage and talk things through") later yesterday evening. Neither one of us had too much to say- the whole situation is just too raw and overwhelming to hash it out too much. But she kept listing off all the people that were there and the supportive comments they had made, the testimony on his behalf that had been given, the meal someone provided. All seemed like small gestures, but as a whole, they meant the world to my friends.

I keep thinking, "THAT is what it means to be a member of a church family." Showing that kind of love for your fellow church member, being there at their darkest hour, providing what they didn't even know they really needed. After seeing my church at work this week, I am 100% convicted that being a member of this church (or a church) is paramount to my Christian walk. Christ "laid down his life for his friends," (John 15:13) and I am convinced that to see this kind of out-pouring is the closest thing we can see in this world that even mimics Christ standing in the gap and dying on the cross for our sins.

These 40 people and 20 men didn't just show up and sit. Their presence conveyed a much deeper message to this family. It meant they have been praying over this situation for months. It meant they love all those involved. Maybe more importantly, it meant they will be there for this family no matter what the judge decides. Our friends have an army of people they can count on, and there were many more that would have been there if they could. I feel so honored and blessed to be a part of this family.

Faith Journey

My good friend, Jon, once said in a sermon that every story is God’s story, we are just the characters in it. God has written a surprise twist into His story for us. Today our little family starts a new and exciting chapter.

The past six months have been one of uncertaintly, to say the least. It’s hard to even start this blog, and even now I know it’s going to be inadequate to get out on paper His complete and total sovereignty in our lives. God has overwhelmed me on so many levels and surprised me (and then at the same time, not surprised me at all).

So I’ll just start with a timeline of events to fill you in.

The wheels started turning for this big change the first part of October, when our last hand at the dairy quit. Then by the week of Thanksgiving, Kenton and Scott had sold the milking herd and were looking to find whatever God had in store for them. This was a huge, big, scary change from the norm that had been for 43 years, Scott’s entire life. Scott had a series of interviews with a feed additive company that would have meant a move for us to West Texas, but they weren't able to see that his actual experience in the dairy industry was far more beneficial than his lack of sales experience.

At any rate, we got re-adjusted to our daily routine and were enjoying life through December and had a wonderful Christmas. Scott had a few feelers out for jobs, was working to build his independent sales with Accelerated Genetics, and had put in his application to substitute teach at the high school in the meantime.  I had had several conversations with friends, one in particular, that were so positive and uplifting. She could see what I couldn’t, that God had an amazing opportunity waiting for us and that even if it meant a move, she was so excited for us. My friends helped me see that Scott and I were on a “faith journey”- to trust in God and just know He was going to get us to the end, to the place we were meant to be, and that we had to trust Him with the details to get there. Whatever direction He took us was going to be awesome beyond our greatest expectations and He would use us to further His kingdom wherever that may be. We had to believe that whatever it was, it was going to be better!

Then the first week of January, my bosses came to me to tell me that they were “re-structuring” the clinic and they needed me to go half time at half salary within 90 days. Not the greatest news to the sole income earner for my family and a solid employee of nearly 8 years. There were lots of reasons for this decision, and it has been a goal of ours (mine and Scott’s) for me to work less since Coleman was born. This was no secret to my employers. I have been convinced for several years that I was not being the mother I needed to be for Coleman because I worked such long, emotionally and physically draining hours. And I’m not talking about “mommy guilt” here. I mean a very strong, absolute conviction that God meant better for my life and for my family (more details in this post). We have talked about and tried to figure out how to make a part time schedule (and income) work for us several times throughout the years, but something always fell through or didn’t work out on paper. Truly, I think it was a lack of faith on our part or just God saying, “it’s not time… yet.” So, even though it wasn’t technically our decision, I know that it was ultimately God paving the way to work His will in our lives.

I think that knowing and being able to see God’s hand in all of this is what kept me from being hurt, angry, vengeful, panicky and a complete basket-case. Now, I’m not saying I didn’t feel all of these emotions. I certainly did, especially the first few weeks. And my friends and family were not as forgiving as I- they were plenty mad for me. I had many moments where I wanted to break down and sob, and many more where I had to stop and catch my breath before I had a panic attack, and one pathetically sad pity-party night. I remember one moment in particular, while making out the check to give as an offering at church, being very saddened by the thought of not being able to give as freely as we have been, or at least with a clear conscience. There were so many details to work out: finances to re-budget, expenses to cut, daycare schedule, becoming a single car family (my truck was previously provided by work), the very real possibility of a move for a new job, and the list goes on and on.

But each time I faced one of these new challenges, I could feel myself riding on this undercurrent of overwhelming peace. I knew God was working his perfect plan, I just didn’t have any idea how we were going to get there. Every time I had an argument in my head, “But God, how…..?” the answer rang loud and clear in my heart that everything was going to work out better than I could have even thought to pray for. I refused to let myself sink into the “what ifs” knowing that I would probably drown in my own emotions. Every time, there was the reassurance that God was giving us the desires of our hearts in His good and perfect timing.

So Scott's job search intensified. He had two big opportunities that he worked hard to pursue. One would have meant a move to South Dakota, the other to the Amarillo area. I worked on my curriculum vitae and cover letter so that I would have it ready to apply for a new job in our new location. We were stuck somewhere between excitement for a new beginning and a fresh start, and sorrow at leaving all that we had in Bowie behind. We dearly love our family, friends, and church family, and raising Coleman in a rural environment with so many people to love on him and be his village is exceedingly important to us. And even though I was not going to be working much, I still believe my clinic is one of the best in the state and my co-workers are some of my best friends.

Scott was flown out to final interviews for both positions. He went to South Dakota State University in January where he would have been the herd manager for the dairy at the school. I couldn’t have written a more perfect job description for my husband. He would have overseen all operations at the dairy, helped plan the design for a new facility, taught a few classes, and coached the dairy challenge and judging teams- all things he loves and is passionate about. Unfortunately, the high that day was 29 degrees and everyone was talking about what a lovely spring day it was (surely you can’t want me to be cold for the rest of my life, right God?!?!?).  He left the interview feeling good about it, but knew that being a university, they wouldn’t be in a hurry to make any decisions.

He was flown to Kentucky for an interview with the second company the first week of March. With AllTech, an animal health and nutrition company, he would be a sales representative and his focus would be mainly dairies in the West Texas/Amarillo area. His boss would be a former student of his when he was a TA for six weeks in Clovis, New Mexico at the inaugural Dairy Consortium, a short course that he and his professor helped establish. (Incidentally, I hated that he was involved with that program that summer because I didn’t get to see him for 6 weeks of his break- looks like even then, 7 years ago, God was working this plan. Hindsight is 20/20.) Because the weather was deteriorating, his day long interview and tour of headquarters was reduced to a one hour meeting in a restaurant at the airport and a return flight home by the skin of his teeth before DFW closed all runways due to ice. He called me before hopping on the plane to say that they wanted to hire him. Even better, they wanted him to stay in Bowie because they wanted him to also serve dairies in the Sulfur Springs, Stephenville, and Southern Oklahoma areas, making this a central location.

I couldn’t answer him- I was crying. His salary would more than cover my lost income. His benefits would handle everything that we had decided we could cut from our budget for a while. The company provided him a truck- the same make and model of the truck I would lose the use of, right down to the 4-wheel drive. We didn’t have to uproot our family and our ties to Bowie. Every detail, all of the logistics, finances, my job, everything was covered in more ways and more perfectly than I could have dreamed.

The following week, Scott called South Dakota State to tell them he had taken another job. They told him they were actually about to send him an offer letter the next day. Two offers with 24 days to spare on our 90 day timeline. God sure knows how to deliver in just the nick of time! Both amazing opportunities, but ultimately the AllTech job was a perfect fit. It’s like God finally said, “Okay…. now!!” As far as my job goes, all of the details of my new contract, schedule, and arrangements have worked out surprising easily, with no disagreements or arguments.

Today, April 13^th, is Day 1 of the rest of our lives. Scott is off on a new adventure, starting a new career and making all kinds of connections in both the dairy and animal nutrition industries. I start my new part time schedule today, and although there are lots of mixed emotions related to taking a huge step back in my career, the fact that I was so upset by that aspect of it all brings into sharp focus just how out of whack my priorities lie. Finally, I get to be a full time wife and mommy, and a part time vet, instead of the other way around. I am apprehensive and excited and relieved all at the same time. Mostly, I am looking forward to doing all of those family things I haven’t made time for these past 3 years. Above all, I am incredibly grateful that God has chosen to bless our family after years of patience and dedication and heartache. It’s such an amazing thing to see how everything has come together to align our hearts and plans with God’s will. I can’t wait to read the rest of His story!!!

When it's All Said and Done

Note: I started this post on November 25th, but there was just too much raw emotion to put it into words. I finished it today, because that chapter of our story needed to be completed.

For the first time in 43 years, cows are not being milked at Twin Oaks Dairy.

That's right, Kenton and Scott sold the milking herd. And I'm pretty sure it broke everyone's heart. Not that it was a bad decision, or the wrong one, just that it's so drastically different. Every day of Scott's 31 years, cows were milked, babies were fed, and hay and feed were put out. Tonight, it is eerily quiet, and Scott is home early.

The first week of October, our last milking hand turned in his two weeks notice. He is leaving to go work in the oil field, and we can't compete with that pay scale. Perhaps that’s why we haven’t even had anyone come by in two years asking for a job? That and dairying is hard work. Scott and Kenton have been killing themselves trying to get everything done. They have been stressed, exhausted, and there's almost a sense of hopelessness about them.

When we were dating, I remember one of the last things Scott asked me before we got engaged was if I could handle being a dairy wife. I was insulted. Of course I could. Who did he think he was talking to? I’m a vet. Of all the people I know, wouldn’t you think I would know how important it is to take care of and milk cows around the clock? Truly, I had no earthly idea what I was about to become a part of, something much more than just milking and feeding cows.

Being a dairy farmer is not merely a job or a business venture. It is a way of life. These men, this family, they breathed it, they lived it, and when they were able to sleep, they dreamed it. Odors that would be off-putting to most became my favorites, they were my husband’s scent. There is nothing better than looking out to see black and white cows in a green pasture. Nothing more satisfying than a hard day's work, especially in agriculture. Yes, it was constant work, and yes, lots of holidays, birthdays, weddings, even funerals were missed or postponed in order to get the job done; it is what it is. 

But it came down economics. To support two families, a certain number of cows had to be milked, but that number was higher than two men could do alone. And those two men were tired. Their wives were, too. There's only so much support you can give your husband before you lovingly and hesitantly say, "enough is enough," because deep down you know that to stop dairying is giving up not just a business, not just a lifestyle, but a 3 generation legacy. 

A buyer, a good man who understands the blood, sweat, and tears we all put into those cows, offered a very fair price, and two weeks and three truckloads later, the only sound left on the always noisy dairy was the crying of hungry calves and heifers. Thank goodness we didn't sell them right away so Kenton and Scott still have something to do. But soon, those will be gone, too, and we're not sure what they will do- probably fix all of the things they haven't had time to fix for the past 5 years. 

I wouldn't count them 100% out of the dairy business just yet. In fact, they've already started dreaming up the next plan. But for now, it is time to rest and regroup. And praise God for the wonderful opportunities that lie ahead and thank Him for those blessing we have already received.