Church

Needless to say, nothing is the same as it was B.C. (Before Coleman). This includes going to church.


This morning we were rushing around to get all three of us ready and out the door in time to make it for worship (forget class!). I find this very stressful for some reason. Me rushing to get showered, dressed (so difficult since none of my clothes fit or the ones that do have limited boob access), fixed-up, and the diaper bag ready before he wakes up from his early morning nap. Then having to wake him from said nap to change his diaper yet again and load him up into his car seat. This sets him off and if we're lucky he's stopped crying before we get to town. Then you've got Scott, who comes in from the dairy, and in his own frustratingly slow, but endearing way, eats breakfast, shaves, showers and gets ready then acts like he's waiting on me (which he is, wonder why?).


So by the time we get to the building, I'm left wondering why on earth I even try. I'm not going to be able to focus on the lesson, even if I get to stay seated through it. If he's sleeping, I sit there and think about how I should be, too. Sometimes I question my motives: am I there to worship and praise my God or to show off my son and be showered with compliments? Or do I simply need an excuse to get out of the house?

Today was no exception. He started fussing before the children at the front stared the second song. It was time for brunch, so I took him in the cry room to feed him. As I sat there rocking my nursing baby, I realized how completely content I was. I was worshiping- I was in awe of God's handiwork, I was singing songs of praise, and He and Coleman were teaching me lessons I would never learn by just reading or listening to someone speak. He drifted off to sleep nursing and woke up when I burped him and was in a great mood. I laid him in the crib and he played and kicked and cooed until his heart was content. I have no idea what the sermon was about, but I overheard something about Godly joy. Looking down at my child smiling and talking back at me, I realized that I have the best example of earthly joy there is and I've been sooo lucky to have him for 24 hours a day for the past 6 weeks, 1 day.

I would have missed that lesson if he had just quietly slept through the service. So glad for this small inconvenience, which turned out to be so much more than just another feeding for Coleman. Instead, we both got fed to the fullest.