???!!!

June 27, 2011

So... I'm one day late. [If you don't want to know a whole lot about me, stop reading.]

You're going, okay, so, 1 day, you could have counted wrong, you may just be slightly irregular for whatever reason, it may be off by a few hours. Whatever. But I can't really say anything to anyone and I want to surprise Scott so I'm writing it all down. Besides, it will be a neat memory if I really am!

I seem to remember being very regular before I was on the pill. The first month I was off I went exactly 28, the second 26, and today is 29. Without getting too graphic, there are usually some signs I have a few days before, and those are no where in sight. No spotting, no serious moodiness, no weight gain. Also, I've been having some random cramping, not as consistent as impending period, but intense enough to wake me up last night. My breasts are pretty tender (which I never noticed as PMS until last month), I've been tired, and I've had to pee like crazy.

So why don't you just take a pregnancy test? Several reasons. 1) I don't want to over-react. I want to be patient and not jump the gun. 2) My cycle may just be off a day or two- time will tell. 3) Timing: I want to find out and then be able to tell Scott right away or within a few hours, and I want to be able to spend a lot of time with him that day. So I'll wait until the 4th of July. That's one week out from my expected re-cycle date, I don't have work that day, and I should be able to spend time with him then.

Waiting and not knowing is hard. Trying to not get too excited so that when you're not you aren't too disappointed, but at the same time trying not to be pessimistic and wanting to be overjoyed and wanting to tell the world, or at least your husband. My prayer is for patience, peace of mind, and wisdom. My prayer for Scott is for direction, strength, and leadership. And for rest for both of us, so good night!