:)

July 1, 2011

Should have written this post a few days ago, but I needed time to process the fact that

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!!

You'll be able to see by the previous two posts that on Monday I said I was going to wait a week and then by Tuesday I'd changed my mind and took the test and it was POSITIVE. Yes, I said lots of things about being patient and not wanting to jump the gun, but the more I thought about it and the more I read (thanks internet!) about very early signs of pregnancy, the more I thought, "huh..." and I just couldn't stand it any more. I went straight home from work and took the test. The line turned pink within 10 seconds and is what we'd call at work a "hot positive" meaning there's lots of hCG so the color reaction was very vivid. I started shaking, smiling, and crying all at the same time.

My original plan was to make Scott a nice dinner and later that evening ask him if he was ready to be a daddy. I'm really not good at sticking with the plan, obviously. I went straight to the dairy to find him. We said hello, how is your day, what are you doing. Then out of the blue he asked if we were pregnant. I told him yes, and he thought I was lying up until the point he came home 15 minutes later and I showed him the test. His reaction was, well, not what I'd hoped for at all. He went back to the dairy and I went to go run to clear my head.

I didn't stop praying for about 2 days that I would be patient with Scott, put myself in his position, and for God to ease his shock and let him get excited about it. I know that his reaction stemmed from the fact that now he is not only responsible for me but also for our child as well. Also, we were both expecting it to take a lot longer, not just 6 weeks!!!! Everything is going to change: his job, my job, moving, maybe moving the dairy, more financial responsibility. I know that if everything were in order, he wouldn't have as much anxiety. But I also know that no matter what, this is God's plan for our life. I am also a little relieved because I think this is the impetus we needed to get the ball rolling as far as the dairy goes. For two years we've been drifting in the wind with no clear cut direction as to where we needed to go or what we needed to do. This forces our (and his parent's) hand. Something has to be done in the next 8 months.

The next day, I made the first appointment with my OB for August 4th. Scott had calmed down a lot and even asked me, "How is the Momma today?" :) We were able to talk everything out a little. He wanted to make sure that this was "real" so I explained that for a test to be + I had to have hCG in my system and that it is produced by the placenta, which means it's already an EMBRYO!!! We've since come up with a plan: At 6 weeks we will go ultrasound me (great to have one of those at my disposal) and check everything out (may be able to see a heartbeat by then!!!). Then we will tell his parents and will be able to tell my bosses. There are a lot of things I'm exposed to daily that are a bit risky, especially this early on, and my job can be quite labor intensive. My mom and step-dad are coming for a visit sometime in August, so we may wait to tell them until then.

Yesterday I was able to go to Wichita Falls and have dinner with Vanessa and somehow we got into a conversation about pregnancy and infertility. I wanted to tell her soooo bad, but of course, I couldn't. Sorry!! After dinner, I went and bought "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and looked for a pregnancy keepsake book but didn't like what I found. I practically read the first 100 pages (okay, skimmed) last night. Lots of really important developmental things happen during the first trimester so I wanted to be well informed. And since my 1st OB visit isn't for another 5 weeks, I wanted a reliable source for answers.

Basically, I'm super excited and Scott seems to get more comfortable everyday. Of course, I'll keep posting as things keep happening. Stay tuned!