Well, this is not the way I envisioned this post to go.
Explanation: Yesterday and Wednesday, I was composing a post in my head to tell you all about our new home. Wednesday, we made an offer and signed a contract on a really cute, older farm house with 4 acres and a barn about a mile and a half from the dairy. It's a 3 bed/2 bath house with a larger kitchen and a lot of potential to make it our very own (read: it needed leveling and some cosmetic work, but we were actually excited about it). Of course, I had it all fixed up and decorated in my head and had day-dreams about raising our family in our home. To make a long story short, through a series of events, we found out that the owners flip houses cheaply and poorly and the inspection found so many more things that were majorly wrong with the house (roof, pluming, etc.) that we have pretty much decided to not buy the house. Fortunately, we put a "pending inspection" clause in our contract, so we should get back our earnest money (fingers crossed).
So now what? Well, the options are:
1. Make do where we are (less than 500 square feet)
2. Find another house to buy or rent
3. Move a mobile home or build on some land that Scott's parents may deed to us (that was thrown out there this morning, not really a possibility yet)
4. Trade houses with either Kenton and Suzan or Grandpa- not wild about the idea of displacing his family from their homes
So yes, we have a few options. And yes, we are very blessed to have a home currently and can try to fit a baby and all his stuff in it for a few months with some very creative re-arranging. I keep telling myself to stop crying and stop throwing a fit and have faith that something will work out and it will all be okay. I'm pretty sure Scott thinks I'm ridiculous for crying so much about it. I know, I got my hopes up, but everything was going just perfectly and I'd done so much to get all the stuff to bank and the title company and it was all going to come together just in time to move in before the baby got here. I was looking forward to bringing my son home to a permanent place, with a space of his own and an nursery and room for us to live as a family. Again, I sound like I'm whining, but I don't know how to tell you how cramped we are already, how easily the house looks like a tornado hit it, and how I can't even begin to imagine cramming all the stuff we need for a baby into the house- and forget finding a place for baby bottles, even.
To say the very least, I'm very disappointed. I think because I know that this isn't what's in our very best interest, even though we wanted it to be and I needed it to be because I need that security. And Becca's I have this ticking clock in my belly and desperately need to be settled before it goes off. And because I know that Scott and I are the most cautious people I know and will never take a chance like this. Sometimes I think we're too cautious, maybe to a fault, as in, a lack of faith that it will be fine if we just go for it.
I'm overwhelmed. I have no sense of direction and I'm back at square one. I hate feeling this completely lost with zero guidance and not knowing what's best for us. Soooo much is about to change and I hate not being able to even imagine how things are going to work. As always, Scott just says, "it will all work out" and while I know he's disappointed too, and that he does care, he has more faith (or just less worry). I know all of this, but from him, it comes out as indifference.
So the plan is, for this weekend, to just try to forget about it and start fresh on Tuesday. Scott is headed to meet up with some college friends and I am going to tackle what nesting-type projects I can and then spend New Years with my cousin and her family. Settle down. Breathe. Refocus..... Ready..... Break!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Baby Doc Visit
The whole family went to see Dr. Kyle today. :)
So far, so good. Starting with momma- I had my glucose tolerance test last time and I am definitely not diabetic (as in, my glucose was almost too low). Blood pressure, pulse, uterine growth, and weight gain are all okay. I kinda got a little off on my weight gain last month (umm.... can we say it's the holidays at Cross Timbers?) but managed to only gain one pound in the last two weeks. My total gain is still right on track though. And I'll nurse, so it should come right off quickly. I started back to the gym last week and found that I am not nearly as flexible as I was even a month ago and that my pelvis is, well, achy. My good friend, Jolena, gave me a pregnancy yoga video and a workout video, so that should help. And, my after work schedule and on call schedule should slow down now, so I'll have more time to take care of myself. I had a little bit of a panic moment last week, but everything is fine now, no need to worry. Otherwise, I'm doing well. A little more heartburn, a little more insomnia, a little less energy, a little more uncomfortable, and I need new scrub tops. I am pretty much on small animal duty from here on out except in emergencies and will most likely call for back-up after hours, much to the relief of my husband.
Our baby (affectionately known as "Lawrence" at CTVH), is doing great as well. We got to see an ultrasound today. It's just amazing how much he changes and develops each time we look at him. First of all, yes, definitely still a boy- much to Scott's relief!! He is head down and likely to stay that way- much to my relief!! We were able to see his heart beat (4 chambers) and the pulse in his aorta and umbilical artery. We also got a really great look at his face- you could see his eyelids moving, his fat cheeks, his fat lips (thanks, Mom & Dad!) were making sweet little sucking movements, and we're pretty sure he has Scott's nose- it's quite prominent! We was snuggled in for a nap and had one fist under his chin and one up on his cheek. Dr. Kyle tried to snap a picture of him- but turns out he is just as photogenic as his parents. Hopefully in real life he'll be a little less camera shy.
We are at 30 weeks, 3 days, for a grand total of 70 days- eek! He measures about 18 inches and weighs about 3 pounds. Dr. Kyle thinks he'll be around 7 to 7 1/2 pounds and doesn't see any reason for any complications to arise. He has gotten his sleep/wake cycles down and if they stay that way, I'll be up much later each night than I am now. He gets the hiccups quite frequently. More than kicking, which he still does, he's become very squirmy and stretches out. His latest trick is to stretch his foot out and I can feel his heel. In fact, I think I'm getting a bruise on my belly right where he pushes out. Not a big deal, but it amuses me!
I just realized I already sound like a proud Momma :)
So far, so good. Starting with momma- I had my glucose tolerance test last time and I am definitely not diabetic (as in, my glucose was almost too low). Blood pressure, pulse, uterine growth, and weight gain are all okay. I kinda got a little off on my weight gain last month (umm.... can we say it's the holidays at Cross Timbers?) but managed to only gain one pound in the last two weeks. My total gain is still right on track though. And I'll nurse, so it should come right off quickly. I started back to the gym last week and found that I am not nearly as flexible as I was even a month ago and that my pelvis is, well, achy. My good friend, Jolena, gave me a pregnancy yoga video and a workout video, so that should help. And, my after work schedule and on call schedule should slow down now, so I'll have more time to take care of myself. I had a little bit of a panic moment last week, but everything is fine now, no need to worry. Otherwise, I'm doing well. A little more heartburn, a little more insomnia, a little less energy, a little more uncomfortable, and I need new scrub tops. I am pretty much on small animal duty from here on out except in emergencies and will most likely call for back-up after hours, much to the relief of my husband.
Our baby (affectionately known as "Lawrence" at CTVH), is doing great as well. We got to see an ultrasound today. It's just amazing how much he changes and develops each time we look at him. First of all, yes, definitely still a boy- much to Scott's relief!! He is head down and likely to stay that way- much to my relief!! We were able to see his heart beat (4 chambers) and the pulse in his aorta and umbilical artery. We also got a really great look at his face- you could see his eyelids moving, his fat cheeks, his fat lips (thanks, Mom & Dad!) were making sweet little sucking movements, and we're pretty sure he has Scott's nose- it's quite prominent! We was snuggled in for a nap and had one fist under his chin and one up on his cheek. Dr. Kyle tried to snap a picture of him- but turns out he is just as photogenic as his parents. Hopefully in real life he'll be a little less camera shy.
We are at 30 weeks, 3 days, for a grand total of 70 days- eek! He measures about 18 inches and weighs about 3 pounds. Dr. Kyle thinks he'll be around 7 to 7 1/2 pounds and doesn't see any reason for any complications to arise. He has gotten his sleep/wake cycles down and if they stay that way, I'll be up much later each night than I am now. He gets the hiccups quite frequently. More than kicking, which he still does, he's become very squirmy and stretches out. His latest trick is to stretch his foot out and I can feel his heel. In fact, I think I'm getting a bruise on my belly right where he pushes out. Not a big deal, but it amuses me!
I just realized I already sound like a proud Momma :)
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Merry Christmas!!
Months ago, I had this great plan to take a beautiful Christmas picture with Scott and our sweet Baby Bump in front of the tree and send it out as a Christmas card, also to double as a "We're pregnant" announcement to those that might not know. However.... this plan quickly fell apart because we had a hard time finding a time when we were both dressed up and could find someone to take our picture. Also, it took me a long time to get the tree up and decorated. And then there's the fact that Scott and I may be the very least photogenic people I know. Honestly, we took maybe 15 pictures and don't like any of them. [Scott wasn't digging the whole posing for picture-taking thing, obviously]. Oh, and I decided that between both of us working more that full time, selling the land, buying a house, and being 6 months pregnant, that, well, I had enough going on and that cards were just not a high priority. We decided to wait and save the money on an official birth announcement and take pictures of just our sweet baby boy. So, here's our attempt at our first family Christmas picture. Sorry you don't have one of your very own to have and to hold and hang on your fridge. And especially to those of you that sent me a card, sorry to not reciprocate!
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Merry Christmas!!
From Scott, Sara,
& Baby Holloway
Expecting great things in 2012!!
Holiday Traditions
Our first Christmas, Scott & I decided to make a new family tradition that was all our own. We had a Lowe's gift card left from our wedding and needed a full sized Christmas tree. When we got there, we decided to buy a real tree (total cost after gift certificate, $1.39). This was nothing new for Scott, but it was my first real tree and it was such a perfect tree- symmetrical, full, green, the needles didn't fall off the first week like I thought they would, and it made our house smell soooo great. I had bought a bunch of Holstein ornaments and surprised him with them while we were decorating our tree. He has an Aggie train and we set it up with a snowy tree skirt, cute trees, and a dairy barn that we found on sale.
So, now, each year we go pick out a real tree, eat at CiCi's afterwards (don't ask), and come home and set it up and decorate it. Well, mostly I decorate it. Scott is in charge of keeping it watered. I saw a cute idea on Pinterest where a couple had saved the bottom part of the trunk of their Christmas trees for each year they had been married and wrote the year and something significant about that year (baby's first Christmas, etc.) We are going to start that this year and Scott says our tree from last year is out in the back 40 so he's going to get a slice of that trunk as well (we may fib and cut an extra for our first year.)
Here are a few of our other Christmas decorations. I didn't decorate as much this year because, well, 1. I'm pregnant and tired, and 2. we're about to move.
So, now, each year we go pick out a real tree, eat at CiCi's afterwards (don't ask), and come home and set it up and decorate it. Well, mostly I decorate it. Scott is in charge of keeping it watered. I saw a cute idea on Pinterest where a couple had saved the bottom part of the trunk of their Christmas trees for each year they had been married and wrote the year and something significant about that year (baby's first Christmas, etc.) We are going to start that this year and Scott says our tree from last year is out in the back 40 so he's going to get a slice of that trunk as well (we may fib and cut an extra for our first year.)
Here are a few of our other Christmas decorations. I didn't decorate as much this year because, well, 1. I'm pregnant and tired, and 2. we're about to move.
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| I love collecting small, ornamental Christmas trees. I'd have them everywhere if I could. |
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| Image from my front door. My mother made the Nativity out of plaster of Paris when she was in college and passed it down to me a few years ago. Quite possibly my very favorite decoration- so beautiful in it's simplicity. |
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| Homemade Christmas stockings- The "P" is for Pepper, and those are fire hydrants if you can't tell. One "S" for Scott and one for me- his has airplanes and mine has music notes. |
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| New way to display an old favorite. My super crafty Auntie Linda handmade all of these cards. This year, I put them under the glass of my coffee table to sort of "frame" them and keep them safe. |
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
30 Days of Thanks
My Facebook posts for the month of November:
11/1 Thankful for 5 months of a healthy, uneventful pregnancy
11/2 Thankful for the beautiful fall weather and impending cold front- puts a little spring into everyone's step!
11/3 Very thankful that my husband's dog, Re, came home overnight last night- he'd been gone for 4 days and Scott was beside himself- it was so sad!
11/4 Excited for a weekend road trip with my husband, even if I have CE most of the weekend. At least we'll have some good windshield time and Scott will have some down time.
11/5 (no computer access yesterday) Thankful for best friends that know just how to say what you need to hear.
11/6 Thankful for loving family and getting to spend precious time with them
11/7 Thankful for my husband, for more reasons than I can list
11/8 Thankful for the rain and thunderstorm I woke up to this morning, and thankful that Scott didn't get electrocuted!
11/9 Thankful for my church family, from the little ones that serve as constant reminders of innocence, to my young adult class in the midst of all this mess with me, to the wiser set that is there to be our living examples.
11/10 Thankful for days off to enjoy beautiful fall weather and a little down time by myself
11/11 Thankful to live in a country that is protected by free men and women that willingly defend our borders and freedom
11/12 Thankful for a God that established the sanctity of marriage, the devotion it requires, and the love it reflects. Congrats, Readings!
11/13 Thankful for God establishing his church, and the lovely people I worship with each week.
11/14 Thankful for my great in-laws (after watching monster-in-law for the first time) and an awesome extended family :)
11/15 Thankful for the convenience of grocery stores and restaurants
11/16 Thankful that my baby boy (and I) are right on track and healthy!
11/17 Thankful for my job, even though it sometimes requires me to be hot or cold, gross & smelly, and work long, thankless hours, at least I have a way to earn an income for my family.
11/18 Thankful for relaxing evenings with great friends.
11/19 Thankful for long naps with my hubby.
11/20 Thankful for an uninterrupted Bible class and worship service this morning.
11/21 Thankful for the rain!
11/22 Thankful for music :)
11/23 Thankful for Vet Students helping out on holidays on call!
11/24 Thankful for grateful clients late at night on holidays.
11/25 Thankful for warm memories that are making me miss my family like crazy this holiday.
11/26 Thankful to have finally spent time with my long lost friend and her sweet son!
11/27 Thankful for my sweet adopted parents from my church in Stillwater that surprised me today!
11/28 Thankful to still be well enough and mobile enough to work without waddling.
11/29 Thankful for a great report for my friend from her doctor- what an answered prayer!!
11/30 When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul!
11/1 Thankful for 5 months of a healthy, uneventful pregnancy
11/2 Thankful for the beautiful fall weather and impending cold front- puts a little spring into everyone's step!
11/3 Very thankful that my husband's dog, Re, came home overnight last night- he'd been gone for 4 days and Scott was beside himself- it was so sad!
11/4 Excited for a weekend road trip with my husband, even if I have CE most of the weekend. At least we'll have some good windshield time and Scott will have some down time.
11/5 (no computer access yesterday) Thankful for best friends that know just how to say what you need to hear.
11/6 Thankful for loving family and getting to spend precious time with them
11/7 Thankful for my husband, for more reasons than I can list
11/8 Thankful for the rain and thunderstorm I woke up to this morning, and thankful that Scott didn't get electrocuted!
11/9 Thankful for my church family, from the little ones that serve as constant reminders of innocence, to my young adult class in the midst of all this mess with me, to the wiser set that is there to be our living examples.
11/10 Thankful for days off to enjoy beautiful fall weather and a little down time by myself
11/11 Thankful to live in a country that is protected by free men and women that willingly defend our borders and freedom
11/12 Thankful for a God that established the sanctity of marriage, the devotion it requires, and the love it reflects. Congrats, Readings!
11/13 Thankful for God establishing his church, and the lovely people I worship with each week.
11/14 Thankful for my great in-laws (after watching monster-in-law for the first time) and an awesome extended family :)
11/15 Thankful for the convenience of grocery stores and restaurants
11/16 Thankful that my baby boy (and I) are right on track and healthy!
11/17 Thankful for my job, even though it sometimes requires me to be hot or cold, gross & smelly, and work long, thankless hours, at least I have a way to earn an income for my family.
11/18 Thankful for relaxing evenings with great friends.
11/19 Thankful for long naps with my hubby.
11/20 Thankful for an uninterrupted Bible class and worship service this morning.
11/21 Thankful for the rain!
11/22 Thankful for music :)
11/23 Thankful for Vet Students helping out on holidays on call!
11/24 Thankful for grateful clients late at night on holidays.
11/25 Thankful for warm memories that are making me miss my family like crazy this holiday.
11/26 Thankful to have finally spent time with my long lost friend and her sweet son!
11/27 Thankful for my sweet adopted parents from my church in Stillwater that surprised me today!
11/28 Thankful to still be well enough and mobile enough to work without waddling.
11/29 Thankful for a great report for my friend from her doctor- what an answered prayer!!
11/30 When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul!
Friday, November 18, 2011
Already?
It's hard to believe that it's almost time for Thanksgiving. Time is really flying around here!
Not much new to report. Things are just moving right along at a spinning pace. We are still looking for a house, and may have found one, just waiting on some more info about it before we decide to make an offer.
Scott's cousin Holly got married last weekend- so that was the big family affair for the year.
I had a Baby Doc appointment on Wednesday. Everything is progressing well. My belly is measuring correctly, my blood pressure and weight are on track, and the heartbeat was nice and strong. I have my next appointment in 4 week and then we'll start every 2 weeks. It's hard to believe that I'm this close to being in my 3rd trimester. It's amazing how quickly time has passed. I still feel great and have lots of energy, most of the time. It's getting much harder to get comfortable to sleep and sometimes sit. I can't eat as much at a time, which is unfortunate, seeing as how I'm hungry all the time. Bending over is another obstacle, unless I'm wearing maternity pants. Oh, and my feet are starting to swell, especially if I sit for too long or am on my feet for hours at a time. Usually, it's not really apparent on my feet, but I have a crazy indention on my ankles from my socks. All in all, it's been a rather un-eventful pregnancy, which is a major blessing.
That's really it for now. No news is always good news!
Not much new to report. Things are just moving right along at a spinning pace. We are still looking for a house, and may have found one, just waiting on some more info about it before we decide to make an offer.
Scott's cousin Holly got married last weekend- so that was the big family affair for the year.
I had a Baby Doc appointment on Wednesday. Everything is progressing well. My belly is measuring correctly, my blood pressure and weight are on track, and the heartbeat was nice and strong. I have my next appointment in 4 week and then we'll start every 2 weeks. It's hard to believe that I'm this close to being in my 3rd trimester. It's amazing how quickly time has passed. I still feel great and have lots of energy, most of the time. It's getting much harder to get comfortable to sleep and sometimes sit. I can't eat as much at a time, which is unfortunate, seeing as how I'm hungry all the time. Bending over is another obstacle, unless I'm wearing maternity pants. Oh, and my feet are starting to swell, especially if I sit for too long or am on my feet for hours at a time. Usually, it's not really apparent on my feet, but I have a crazy indention on my ankles from my socks. All in all, it's been a rather un-eventful pregnancy, which is a major blessing.
That's really it for now. No news is always good news!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wiggly Baby
Two things reaffirm an expectant mother like nothing else:
1. a brand new, cute baby bump, and
2. "quickening"
Dear Son,
You are a very active little boy, and you only weigh a pound! You definitely have a schedule and stick to it pretty regularly. I notice that you get to moving around 11 am, 1 pm, 9:30-11:30 pm, and I think sometime around 3 am. I have been waking up for no apparent reason around then every night for the past two weeks, but last night I think you rolled completely over or did a flip which puts a lot of pressure on my belly. Then, you got the hiccups, your most recent accomplishment. I was a little uncomfortable and I'm a light sleeper, so I laid awake for a while amazed at your little body developing perfectly as God is forming you. I'm told that the hiccups won't be too cute for much longer and will make me feel like I'm the one with them. Also, your twisting, turning, kicking, and jabbing is going to get a lot more forceful and painful for me- but all a sign that you are growing and healthy and strong.
I'm sure you move around more than I recognize, but those are the times that I can expect you to be active. Sometimes, I just feel a ton of pressure in one area or another and you are either stretching or turning completely over. Mostly, it's just jabs. Also, sometimes I can tell that your whole body is on one side or high or low. Last week, I was sitting on the couch, enjoying feeling you move around, when I noticed that I could actually see you moving my tummy. That, of course, fascinated me. Daddy saw it last night. He's a little freaked out by being able to see and feel you (kind of like you are an alien) but it's all new to him and he'll adjust soon, I know.
Oh little boy, I am so excited to get to meet you and hold you, but I already know that you are going to be hard to keep up with. I bet you run everywhere like your Daddy did when he was little (and older). I can't wait!
With love,
Mommy
1. a brand new, cute baby bump, and
2. "quickening"
Dear Son,
You are a very active little boy, and you only weigh a pound! You definitely have a schedule and stick to it pretty regularly. I notice that you get to moving around 11 am, 1 pm, 9:30-11:30 pm, and I think sometime around 3 am. I have been waking up for no apparent reason around then every night for the past two weeks, but last night I think you rolled completely over or did a flip which puts a lot of pressure on my belly. Then, you got the hiccups, your most recent accomplishment. I was a little uncomfortable and I'm a light sleeper, so I laid awake for a while amazed at your little body developing perfectly as God is forming you. I'm told that the hiccups won't be too cute for much longer and will make me feel like I'm the one with them. Also, your twisting, turning, kicking, and jabbing is going to get a lot more forceful and painful for me- but all a sign that you are growing and healthy and strong.
I'm sure you move around more than I recognize, but those are the times that I can expect you to be active. Sometimes, I just feel a ton of pressure in one area or another and you are either stretching or turning completely over. Mostly, it's just jabs. Also, sometimes I can tell that your whole body is on one side or high or low. Last week, I was sitting on the couch, enjoying feeling you move around, when I noticed that I could actually see you moving my tummy. That, of course, fascinated me. Daddy saw it last night. He's a little freaked out by being able to see and feel you (kind of like you are an alien) but it's all new to him and he'll adjust soon, I know.
Oh little boy, I am so excited to get to meet you and hold you, but I already know that you are going to be hard to keep up with. I bet you run everywhere like your Daddy did when he was little (and older). I can't wait!
With love,
Mommy
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Picture Post
Past due belly bump pictures
I have a 19 week picture, but I look horrible...
More to come. I'm starting to really like my belly now, so I'm much more willing to strike a pose!
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| 17 weeks with Shannon Dial at the South Plains Fair. I think this is when I started looking more pregnant and less just fat. |
I have a 19 week picture, but I look horrible...
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| 20 weeks- halfway there!!! This is the day we had our anatomic ultrasound. |
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| Baby clothes collection thus far: from the clinic in Olney, Kenton & Suzan, to Scott from me, and my mom. |
Scott's Granny
This is a great story and warms my heart.
For those that don't know, Scott's Granny (Suzan's mom) has a form of dementia that is similar to Parkinson's. She has been battling this for about 7 years and a year ago went to live at a nursing home/care facility about 30 miles away. When she moved there, she was ill, had just gotten over a bladder surgery, was hallucinating all the time, and could not fend for herself. Grandpa was taking care of her 24/7 and it was wearing him down, too. The decision was a very hard one, but has benefited everyone tremendously.
So, since that time, she has been very well cared for and Grandpa has made significant improvements as well. Sometimes, she is just a lucid as can be, but most of the time, she is talking to people who aren't there, about things that didn't happen, or if she's had some pain meds for her arthritis, she is completely zonked.
My OB is a few blocks from her home, so we go visit when I have an appointment. Last Thursday after my U/S, we went to see her. She waved us into her room and we told her we were there after my appointment. She asked how everything was going and if we knew what it was yet. Scott told her it was a boy but made sure to mention that Kenton doesn't want to know the gender. She laughed and asked when it was due. We told her March 6th and she knew that was Kenton's birthday and that her daughter's birthday was around then on March 3rd. It was a very good visit. :)
Then on Sunday, Suzan went to see her and asked if we came to visit her. She said yes, on Thursday. She asked if we had told her about the baby and she said, "Yes, it's a boy!". Then she sat up, covered her mouth, and looked around the room. Suzan asked what was wrong and she whispered that Kenton didn't want to know (she thought she had seen him). She also knew the due date.
Such an encouragement to all of us! I think she fixates on one thing at a time and remembers every detail. It warms my heart for her to cling to this and gives us something to look forward to talking with her about at each visit. Hopefully it will help her keep track of time a little. It's such an exciting time for us and I'm so happy that she is able to take part in our joy!!
For those that don't know, Scott's Granny (Suzan's mom) has a form of dementia that is similar to Parkinson's. She has been battling this for about 7 years and a year ago went to live at a nursing home/care facility about 30 miles away. When she moved there, she was ill, had just gotten over a bladder surgery, was hallucinating all the time, and could not fend for herself. Grandpa was taking care of her 24/7 and it was wearing him down, too. The decision was a very hard one, but has benefited everyone tremendously.
So, since that time, she has been very well cared for and Grandpa has made significant improvements as well. Sometimes, she is just a lucid as can be, but most of the time, she is talking to people who aren't there, about things that didn't happen, or if she's had some pain meds for her arthritis, she is completely zonked.
My OB is a few blocks from her home, so we go visit when I have an appointment. Last Thursday after my U/S, we went to see her. She waved us into her room and we told her we were there after my appointment. She asked how everything was going and if we knew what it was yet. Scott told her it was a boy but made sure to mention that Kenton doesn't want to know the gender. She laughed and asked when it was due. We told her March 6th and she knew that was Kenton's birthday and that her daughter's birthday was around then on March 3rd. It was a very good visit. :)
Then on Sunday, Suzan went to see her and asked if we came to visit her. She said yes, on Thursday. She asked if we had told her about the baby and she said, "Yes, it's a boy!". Then she sat up, covered her mouth, and looked around the room. Suzan asked what was wrong and she whispered that Kenton didn't want to know (she thought she had seen him). She also knew the due date.
Such an encouragement to all of us! I think she fixates on one thing at a time and remembers every detail. It warms my heart for her to cling to this and gives us something to look forward to talking with her about at each visit. Hopefully it will help her keep track of time a little. It's such an exciting time for us and I'm so happy that she is able to take part in our joy!!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Awesome Ultrasound Experience :)
Today we had our 20 week anatomic ultrasound- it was so awesome!!
I've ultrasounded lots of different animals and even ultrasounded myself several times, but this was different. The probe wasn't in my hand, the machine was so much more advanced than the one we use, and the tech was amazing and made the experience so much fun!
Our baby was asleep for the first half of the exam and was very "photogenic" so it was really easy for her to get good measurements and get some great views. Everything looked great and was measuring a week ahead of schedule. Then she woke our baby up and got some great action shots and felt it punch her probe.
So, without further ado, here is our son!
Okay Grandparents, you can start buying boy stuff now! And yes, we do have a few names picked out, but we will keep those to ourselves until he's here and it's on the birth certificate. That gets to be our little secret!
Thanks again for everyone's love, support, prayers, and excitement. We can't wait to meet him and introduce you to our son!
I've ultrasounded lots of different animals and even ultrasounded myself several times, but this was different. The probe wasn't in my hand, the machine was so much more advanced than the one we use, and the tech was amazing and made the experience so much fun!
Our baby was asleep for the first half of the exam and was very "photogenic" so it was really easy for her to get good measurements and get some great views. Everything looked great and was measuring a week ahead of schedule. Then she woke our baby up and got some great action shots and felt it punch her probe.
So, without further ado, here is our son!
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| Cute nose and big lips like Daddy & Mommy- he kept moving them the whole time! |
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| Long runners legs and big feet |
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| Both feet with cute toes |
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| Definitely a boy- he and Daddy are pretty proud of that! |
Thanks again for everyone's love, support, prayers, and excitement. We can't wait to meet him and introduce you to our son!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Baby Back-Blog
I'm a slacker.
Okay, we'll back up to September 1st. That was Scott's 29th birthday. Because I had gotten his Mater's diploma framed for our anniversary (and matched it exactly!) he didn't want me to spend a whole lot on his present this year. So I contacted a 2nd cousin-in-law-twice-removed who makes fabulous custom baby clothes and had this made for him:
September 20th was our second OB appointment at 16 weeks. Everything was progressing and growing according to plan. We heard the heartbeat for the first time and got 156 beats per minute (girl zone, if you believe the old wives tale). My lab work all came back normal except for that I do not have a titer to a disease called Toxoplasmosis. Toxo is a disease that is caused by a protozoa and spread by cat feces. It can cause miscarriage and developmental abnormalities in the fetus of pregnant women- that's why pregnant women aren't supposed to change litter boxes. The fact that I don't have a titer means I've never been exposed to Toxo and if I caught the disease, I might face problems. Strange because I've had cats all my life and work on sick cats all the time. Oh well, one more thing to be concerned about and a definite way to get out of cleaning up cat poop!
Okay, we'll back up to September 1st. That was Scott's 29th birthday. Because I had gotten his Mater's diploma framed for our anniversary (and matched it exactly!) he didn't want me to spend a whole lot on his present this year. So I contacted a 2nd cousin-in-law-twice-removed who makes fabulous custom baby clothes and had this made for him:
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| Front |
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| Back |
He was actually really excited by it and I got a "Cool!" out of him. For those that know him, this is a very big deal.
That weekend, Kendra, Suzan, and Rachel came up to the clinic to see the baby on ultrasound. For those of you that know them, you can just imagine the oohs, squeals, and general girliness that that little excursion entailed. I am lucky to have supportive in-laws that are excited and will spoil our child.
September 20th was our second OB appointment at 16 weeks. Everything was progressing and growing according to plan. We heard the heartbeat for the first time and got 156 beats per minute (girl zone, if you believe the old wives tale). My lab work all came back normal except for that I do not have a titer to a disease called Toxoplasmosis. Toxo is a disease that is caused by a protozoa and spread by cat feces. It can cause miscarriage and developmental abnormalities in the fetus of pregnant women- that's why pregnant women aren't supposed to change litter boxes. The fact that I don't have a titer means I've never been exposed to Toxo and if I caught the disease, I might face problems. Strange because I've had cats all my life and work on sick cats all the time. Oh well, one more thing to be concerned about and a definite way to get out of cleaning up cat poop!
The very next night, as I was falling asleep, I was palpating my uterus (yes, I am strange, but still fascinated by how large it is!) and felt some strange poking or gas bubbles lower in my abdomen. They kept going for about 5 minutes and I told Scott that I definitely knew it was the baby kicking!! All the next day and every day since then I have felt it kicking, squirming, punching, and rolling around- so incredibly amazing. I think once you've felt that, there is nothing else to compare it to. One friend compared it to popcorn popping in a bag, another said it reminded her of a goldfish hitting the sides of a bag- both descriptions are great! The other thing is that sometimes you can tell the baby is completely flipping around or pushing against one side because there is some crazy pressure on my uterus and body wall.
Scott felt the baby kick last week (the 12th I think?)- I was really excited for him to feel it, but all I got was a "huh". Again, if you know Scott, you know that he's just not really expressive or excitable. Still, for my sake, there could have been a little more effort involved on his part. I think he's probably like most first time dad's: scared (but will never admit to it), nervous, not sure what to think, and it's not really real until they hold that baby.
There haven't really been any more milestones to speak of since then. I do definitely have my energy back and no horrible heartburn or indigestion. I have started showing (mostly because I think the baby flipped around and is more forward than it was) and people are starting to notice and ask me about it. My feet have started swelling a little when I'm on my feet a lot because my socks leave imprints on my ankles. My weight is shifting forward and pulling my back muscles, although I'm not waddling yet. I've gained a little over 10 pounds, but I've been told it's all in my belly and boobs. Hopefully I don't get in trouble for weight gain from my OB because honestly, I haven't been eating well, which is hard to do when you work over 50 hours a week.
AND LASTLY: I ultrasounded myself on October 13th and DEFINITELY know what the sex of the baby is. So do the rest of the office and Scott. But we're not telling anyone until I go to the real doctor on October 20th when I have my 20 week anatomical ultrasound. Until then.... ; )
Dairy Update
So, what's new at Twin Oaks?
Well, like the rest of Texas, we've had a severe drought this past summer with over 70 days of 100+ degree heat. What that means for us, besides being miserably uncomfortable, is that a few of our tanks (ponds for my Okie friends) went dry and we had to take water to some of our cows in various pastures, and because the grass didn't grow, we only got one cutting of hay baled the first part of June. Our cows were hot, dry, and hungry all summer. Cows like that don't produce much milk and are at increased risk for disease because they are stressed. Let's not mention the stress of the dairy farmers....
So, because 98% of Texas was in a severe drought, everyone and their mother was looking for and buying and shipping hay of all kinds from anywhere they could find it. Hay is scarce and now very expensive. We have managed to stockpile enough hay to last through February but after that who knows? It will all get figured out and we'll go on.
We did get about 5 inches of rain last weekend and another inch or so this past Monday, so things are starting to look nice and green around here, finally! Most of the cracks in the ground are gone and the tanks are a little deeper than they were a week ago. However, shorter, cooler days are becoming more and more the norm which will, once again, turn the grass dormant. Even so, hopefully we'll have just enough water in our tanks and just enough grass to graze to get through the winter. Maybe.
Milk prices have gone up, as have all food prices, but the costs of hay and fuel have eaten into our profits. Last I heard, we were exporting more dairy products, which is always good for business. There is a lot of "dairy policy" going on right now in Washington to help regulate the way milk is sold in this country, which may help stabilize milk prices a little and take the stock market out of the equation. We'll see how that goes.
So, that is the state of affairs for now. Kenton and Scott continue to pour their life and soul into this livelihood and Suzan and I stand back and let them do it and try to be supportive all at the same time. Scott has gotten a part time job selling semen to dairies in our county and our two neighboring counties, so he is learning that business and looking forward to dabbling in something new. Other than that, we are preparing for the long winter and enjoying the temperate weather and rain!
Well, like the rest of Texas, we've had a severe drought this past summer with over 70 days of 100+ degree heat. What that means for us, besides being miserably uncomfortable, is that a few of our tanks (ponds for my Okie friends) went dry and we had to take water to some of our cows in various pastures, and because the grass didn't grow, we only got one cutting of hay baled the first part of June. Our cows were hot, dry, and hungry all summer. Cows like that don't produce much milk and are at increased risk for disease because they are stressed. Let's not mention the stress of the dairy farmers....
So, because 98% of Texas was in a severe drought, everyone and their mother was looking for and buying and shipping hay of all kinds from anywhere they could find it. Hay is scarce and now very expensive. We have managed to stockpile enough hay to last through February but after that who knows? It will all get figured out and we'll go on.
We did get about 5 inches of rain last weekend and another inch or so this past Monday, so things are starting to look nice and green around here, finally! Most of the cracks in the ground are gone and the tanks are a little deeper than they were a week ago. However, shorter, cooler days are becoming more and more the norm which will, once again, turn the grass dormant. Even so, hopefully we'll have just enough water in our tanks and just enough grass to graze to get through the winter. Maybe.
Milk prices have gone up, as have all food prices, but the costs of hay and fuel have eaten into our profits. Last I heard, we were exporting more dairy products, which is always good for business. There is a lot of "dairy policy" going on right now in Washington to help regulate the way milk is sold in this country, which may help stabilize milk prices a little and take the stock market out of the equation. We'll see how that goes.
So, that is the state of affairs for now. Kenton and Scott continue to pour their life and soul into this livelihood and Suzan and I stand back and let them do it and try to be supportive all at the same time. Scott has gotten a part time job selling semen to dairies in our county and our two neighboring counties, so he is learning that business and looking forward to dabbling in something new. Other than that, we are preparing for the long winter and enjoying the temperate weather and rain!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Housing Concerns
When Scott and I got married, his Grandpa completely remodeled (as in gutted) this cute little one bedroom house that was built behind his house. The previous owner had a daughter that had moved back to Bowie to teach school and they built her a little place of her own. Grandpa made the kitchen a little bigger, knocked out the wall between the living room and bedroom to make it an efficiency and replaced literally everything except the 2 ceiling fans and toilet. The result is the cute little house that we have made home for the past 2 years.
I love this house. We have made it a home and definitely made it ours. It does get small at times and it gets cluttered fast because everything is so close and has it's place. We went through our "honeymoon" and then our "adjustment" phase here together. We've worked through many problems and it's the only place we can relax together. So many memories in such a short amount of time.
But.... as my dear friend Salli once lamented, "I have no place for a crib!!!" Yes, I know that newborns don't take up much space- really they just need a bassinet, maybe a swing or something (at this point, sadly, I don't really know). But there are other things that I know I'll need and don't have- like storage for one. A bathtub or large sink to clean it for another. The whole house, except the bathroom, is basically one room and we have enough trouble with all of our junk without having to figure out where to stash bottles, diapers, clothes and so much more.
We have looking into buying something in town, and yes, it is a buyer's market. The problem there is that it's almost impossible to find something worth buying that is in a good neighborhood, isn't run down, and is pretty much move in ready- all for a price that we can afford. I gave Scott a deadline of Thanksgiving to be moved. It's October 18th. Good luck....
Don't get me wrong; I'm not picky, I'm not wanting anything extravagant, I don't need everything perfect. I do need and want a place to call our own. And I need to start nesting and preparing so that I can get excited about our baby getting here and having a place to be a family. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm super stressed about where we're going to live and getting settle in. And I know that's not good for the baby. It's just that everything is soooo up in the air and that traditionally hasn't worked for me- some of you are shaking your head.
So the search continues.....
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| Living Room |
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| Kitchen |
I love this house. We have made it a home and definitely made it ours. It does get small at times and it gets cluttered fast because everything is so close and has it's place. We went through our "honeymoon" and then our "adjustment" phase here together. We've worked through many problems and it's the only place we can relax together. So many memories in such a short amount of time.
But.... as my dear friend Salli once lamented, "I have no place for a crib!!!" Yes, I know that newborns don't take up much space- really they just need a bassinet, maybe a swing or something (at this point, sadly, I don't really know). But there are other things that I know I'll need and don't have- like storage for one. A bathtub or large sink to clean it for another. The whole house, except the bathroom, is basically one room and we have enough trouble with all of our junk without having to figure out where to stash bottles, diapers, clothes and so much more.
We have looking into buying something in town, and yes, it is a buyer's market. The problem there is that it's almost impossible to find something worth buying that is in a good neighborhood, isn't run down, and is pretty much move in ready- all for a price that we can afford. I gave Scott a deadline of Thanksgiving to be moved. It's October 18th. Good luck....
Don't get me wrong; I'm not picky, I'm not wanting anything extravagant, I don't need everything perfect. I do need and want a place to call our own. And I need to start nesting and preparing so that I can get excited about our baby getting here and having a place to be a family. I know I shouldn't be, but I'm super stressed about where we're going to live and getting settle in. And I know that's not good for the baby. It's just that everything is soooo up in the air and that traditionally hasn't worked for me- some of you are shaking your head.
So the search continues.....
Monday, October 17, 2011
Mister Pumpkin
One of my favorite Fall traditions (in our family anyhow) is when Mister Pumpkin comes to see us. When we were little, one morning mid-October each year we would find painted small pumpkins at our place at the breakfast table. Sounds cheesy, but we loved it!
Since graduation, Mister Pumpkin has always managed to find me (and Scott) and send me a cute little pumpkin. This year, we got our orange-wrapped package in the mail and wondered if Mr. P had remembered the baby. He did not disappoint!!!
Since graduation, Mister Pumpkin has always managed to find me (and Scott) and send me a cute little pumpkin. This year, we got our orange-wrapped package in the mail and wondered if Mr. P had remembered the baby. He did not disappoint!!!
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| Mommy, Baby, & Daddy Pumpkin |
Friday, October 14, 2011
Bad Blogger
Yes, I know that I'm supposed to be updating very often, especially with a new baby on the way, BUT if you just knew what all I'd been up to, you'd be exhausted with me. So, here's the list of topics I need to blog about, just so I don't forget:
Baby Update, before and after next week's anatomic ultrasound (read: we'll find out what it is!)
Dairy Update
House Search Update
South Plains Fair
Mr. Pumpkin
Okay, that should keep me busy and get me up to date. Stay tuned....
Baby Update, before and after next week's anatomic ultrasound (read: we'll find out what it is!)
Dairy Update
House Search Update
South Plains Fair
Mr. Pumpkin
Okay, that should keep me busy and get me up to date. Stay tuned....
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Maybe Baby?
Okay, once again, I meant to write this on Monday, September 12th, but as always, I got busy and got behind.....
So, Monday I was sitting at the desk up front and was working on the computer. My belt was really low- slung across my hips and the way I had sat down made it really tight across my slightly puffy, really firm lower abdomen. I noticed a feeling like someone poking my in the abdomen from inside.....
Now, either this was the baby kicking/punching or my really weird intestines (i.e. gas) making yet another strange and inappropriate gurgling. I couldn't say for sure- I've never felt it, so obviously I don't know what I'm feeling for. In my head, I'm thinking that the 3 oz. that the baby weighs couldn't possibly poke my uterus that hard. But, I've seen it make some pretty strong movements, so maybe now it weighs enough to make an impact, especially when I had it "trapped" like that with my belt. So just in case that was what it was, it is now recorded for posterity. We shall see.... ; )
In other news, yes, I know that my blog is seriously deficient in pictures. As soon as I get Scott to pose with his b-day present (from 2 weeks ago) and I get him to take a belly picture of me (should've been done once a month since the beginning), they will be posted.
So, Monday I was sitting at the desk up front and was working on the computer. My belt was really low- slung across my hips and the way I had sat down made it really tight across my slightly puffy, really firm lower abdomen. I noticed a feeling like someone poking my in the abdomen from inside.....
Now, either this was the baby kicking/punching or my really weird intestines (i.e. gas) making yet another strange and inappropriate gurgling. I couldn't say for sure- I've never felt it, so obviously I don't know what I'm feeling for. In my head, I'm thinking that the 3 oz. that the baby weighs couldn't possibly poke my uterus that hard. But, I've seen it make some pretty strong movements, so maybe now it weighs enough to make an impact, especially when I had it "trapped" like that with my belt. So just in case that was what it was, it is now recorded for posterity. We shall see.... ; )
In other news, yes, I know that my blog is seriously deficient in pictures. As soon as I get Scott to pose with his b-day present (from 2 weeks ago) and I get him to take a belly picture of me (should've been done once a month since the beginning), they will be posted.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Fears
Tonight I was innocently house shopping and I got totally blindsided. Think T-boned, rear-ended and a head-on collision all in one. Fear sent me down a very scary, tear-filled path.
Questions flooded my mind: Where are we going to live? Who will I find that is willing to keep a 6 week old when I go back to work? How are we ever going to have time to be great parents or even just raise this baby? How are we going to afford this baby and the million other things we need to pay for? Why does it feel like even though we've done everything right, we can't catch a break or a breather? What made us think that we were ready for this?
Then of course, guilt set in hard and made it all worse. Who was I to shun this blessing that God has entrusted us with? Had He ever left us all alone before? Didn't I realize that Scott and a million other family members, friends, and church members would be there to help me? Hadn't I been blessed enough?
Through it all, the words of a song I must've learned in Jr. High kept pouring over and over in my mind. I think God blesses us with a spirit of remembrance just when we need it most. Somehow, it gave me the courage to stand up, stop crying, and forget (almost) all of that doubt, worry, anxiety, and fear.
When you pass, through the water, I will be with you
And the waves, they will not overtake you.
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you.
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the fire, I will be with you
And the flames, they will not overcome you.
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you.
I have called you by name, you are mine.
For I am the Lord your God.
I am the holy one of Israel, your Savior.
For I am the Lord your God.
I am the holy one of Israel, your Savior.
I am the Lord.
Do not fear.
[Taken from the text of Isaiah 43:1-3a]
Questions flooded my mind: Where are we going to live? Who will I find that is willing to keep a 6 week old when I go back to work? How are we ever going to have time to be great parents or even just raise this baby? How are we going to afford this baby and the million other things we need to pay for? Why does it feel like even though we've done everything right, we can't catch a break or a breather? What made us think that we were ready for this?
Then of course, guilt set in hard and made it all worse. Who was I to shun this blessing that God has entrusted us with? Had He ever left us all alone before? Didn't I realize that Scott and a million other family members, friends, and church members would be there to help me? Hadn't I been blessed enough?
Through it all, the words of a song I must've learned in Jr. High kept pouring over and over in my mind. I think God blesses us with a spirit of remembrance just when we need it most. Somehow, it gave me the courage to stand up, stop crying, and forget (almost) all of that doubt, worry, anxiety, and fear.
When you pass, through the water, I will be with you
And the waves, they will not overtake you.
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you.
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the fire, I will be with you
And the flames, they will not overcome you.
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you.
I have called you by name, you are mine.
For I am the Lord your God.
I am the holy one of Israel, your Savior.
For I am the Lord your God.
I am the holy one of Israel, your Savior.
I am the Lord.
Do not fear.
[Taken from the text of Isaiah 43:1-3a]
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Fun times
We finally decided to let the cat out of the bag, before the grandparents imploded.
Monday, at teacher in-service, one of Suzan's teaching friends announced that her sister-in-law was expecting (about a month after me). Needless to say, she was beside herself and pretty much told Scott that we had to give her permission to tell. By Tuesday, we had finally had called all of the rest of our close friends and gave the grandparents the go-ahead to shout it to the world. We were going to let everyone in on the big secret at church on Wednesday, but, because we live on a dairy and things never go according to plan when you really want to be there, I was the only one that made it.
Soooo.... Sunday Scott broke the news to our Sunday class. I thought David Hall was going to have a stroke, he was so excited. Kenton then announced it by requesting prayers on our behalf from the congregation. What fun!
We are so overwhelmed by the love, support, encouragement, and excitement that everyone has showed us. We received several cards this week and so so many sweet notes on the blog and on facebook. A sweet couple at church even took us out to dinner to celebrate last weekend. It has helped us really get excited about it. Scott even mentioned "feeding the baby" in his devo last night at church. I can't wait for everyone to meet our little blessing!
Oh! AND on Tuesday I ultrasounded myself again. I can't believe how big our little baby has gotten in the last 10 days. It measured 6 centimeters, you could definitely see well formed tiny arms and legs and facial features, and it's heartbeat was 138 beats per minute. The little booger was moving sooooo much! First it was leaping around, then it rolled over, then it waved at me, and it seemed to be sucking it's thumb for a little while. I have promised Auntie Kendra and Suzan that we will come up and scan me next weekend when she is home for labor day. Can. Not. Wait.
Monday, at teacher in-service, one of Suzan's teaching friends announced that her sister-in-law was expecting (about a month after me). Needless to say, she was beside herself and pretty much told Scott that we had to give her permission to tell. By Tuesday, we had finally had called all of the rest of our close friends and gave the grandparents the go-ahead to shout it to the world. We were going to let everyone in on the big secret at church on Wednesday, but, because we live on a dairy and things never go according to plan when you really want to be there, I was the only one that made it.
Soooo.... Sunday Scott broke the news to our Sunday class. I thought David Hall was going to have a stroke, he was so excited. Kenton then announced it by requesting prayers on our behalf from the congregation. What fun!
We are so overwhelmed by the love, support, encouragement, and excitement that everyone has showed us. We received several cards this week and so so many sweet notes on the blog and on facebook. A sweet couple at church even took us out to dinner to celebrate last weekend. It has helped us really get excited about it. Scott even mentioned "feeding the baby" in his devo last night at church. I can't wait for everyone to meet our little blessing!
Oh! AND on Tuesday I ultrasounded myself again. I can't believe how big our little baby has gotten in the last 10 days. It measured 6 centimeters, you could definitely see well formed tiny arms and legs and facial features, and it's heartbeat was 138 beats per minute. The little booger was moving sooooo much! First it was leaping around, then it rolled over, then it waved at me, and it seemed to be sucking it's thumb for a little while. I have promised Auntie Kendra and Suzan that we will come up and scan me next weekend when she is home for labor day. Can. Not. Wait.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Drumroll please......
Today is the day!! Time for the BIG announcement!!! Are you ready!?!?!?!?
I'll wait while you do the happy dance and sqeal.......
To answer all the basic questions:
~Yes, this was a planned thing.
~We found out on June 28th (sorry, we wanted to wait until after our first OB appointment to spill the beans)
~I am due on March 6, 2012 (Grandpa Kenton's birthday)
~No, we don't know what it is yet (Scott says it's a boy)
~No, I haven't been really sick, just really tired, and I'm near the end of the first trimester, so any symptoms I did have are clearing up.
First of all, thank you to all of our very loving family for being so excited for us and being super patient when we told you you couldn't tell yet. You may tell now! Also, thanks to everyone for their continued prayers on our behalf. We are truly blessed by knowing each of you!
Just in case you feel left out, I have been secret-blogging this whole time. If you want, see the previously listed posts and you can follow the whole fun journey from our decision to start a family through the day we found out to today. They are in reverse order and the date they were written is at the top of each post. Incentive for viewing older posts: pictures and video of the first time we saw the heartbeat!!
We are very excited and can't wait to meet this little person. And then we get to introduce our child to each of you! Love you all!
We're going to have a baby!!!
I'll wait while you do the happy dance and sqeal.......
To answer all the basic questions:
~Yes, this was a planned thing.
~We found out on June 28th (sorry, we wanted to wait until after our first OB appointment to spill the beans)
~I am due on March 6, 2012 (Grandpa Kenton's birthday)
~No, we don't know what it is yet (Scott says it's a boy)
~No, I haven't been really sick, just really tired, and I'm near the end of the first trimester, so any symptoms I did have are clearing up.
First of all, thank you to all of our very loving family for being so excited for us and being super patient when we told you you couldn't tell yet. You may tell now! Also, thanks to everyone for their continued prayers on our behalf. We are truly blessed by knowing each of you!
Just in case you feel left out, I have been secret-blogging this whole time. If you want, see the previously listed posts and you can follow the whole fun journey from our decision to start a family through the day we found out to today. They are in reverse order and the date they were written is at the top of each post. Incentive for viewing older posts: pictures and video of the first time we saw the heartbeat!!
We are very excited and can't wait to meet this little person. And then we get to introduce our child to each of you! Love you all!
First Doctor's Appointment
August 11, 2011
Today we both went to our first doctor's appointment. I think it's the only time I've ever been excited to go to that doctor. I'm not going to lie, I had several expectations, and they were all met, thankfully. I'm not sure there's any worse combination than a first-time pregnant woman and a veterinarian. I know just enough to be dangerous. And I've read books and done some internet-searching (which irritates the fire out of me as a vet).
So, my expectations. One, I wanted, no, needed to know that our baby was healthy and growing at a normal rate. Check! Everything felt normal to Dr. Kyle and the brief ultrasound showed that he or she actually measured ahead of the calendar due date. I hadn't ultrasounded myself in about 10 days and I couldn't believe the changes. Last time, it was a peanut shaped blob with a heartbeat that moved. This time, it had visible arms and legs and head and a heartbeat and moved. And Scott was there to see it. Oh. Wow.
Second, I wanted to know that I was healthy. I feel healthy and I knew that I'd been getting into shape just for the purpose of hopefully having a healthy pregnancy. But it helped to hear it from a human medical professional. And I got all of my questions answered and all of the reassurance I needed. Until next time.
And finally, and maybe most importantly- Scott was there. I don't know how exactly to put into words what that means to me. He's involved, he's calm, he's excited, he sorta knows what's going on. I don't know, but having him there meant the world to me, and I can't wait to be a parent with him. :)
Stats from the appointment:
Today we both went to our first doctor's appointment. I think it's the only time I've ever been excited to go to that doctor. I'm not going to lie, I had several expectations, and they were all met, thankfully. I'm not sure there's any worse combination than a first-time pregnant woman and a veterinarian. I know just enough to be dangerous. And I've read books and done some internet-searching (which irritates the fire out of me as a vet).
So, my expectations. One, I wanted, no, needed to know that our baby was healthy and growing at a normal rate. Check! Everything felt normal to Dr. Kyle and the brief ultrasound showed that he or she actually measured ahead of the calendar due date. I hadn't ultrasounded myself in about 10 days and I couldn't believe the changes. Last time, it was a peanut shaped blob with a heartbeat that moved. This time, it had visible arms and legs and head and a heartbeat and moved. And Scott was there to see it. Oh. Wow.
Second, I wanted to know that I was healthy. I feel healthy and I knew that I'd been getting into shape just for the purpose of hopefully having a healthy pregnancy. But it helped to hear it from a human medical professional. And I got all of my questions answered and all of the reassurance I needed. Until next time.
And finally, and maybe most importantly- Scott was there. I don't know how exactly to put into words what that means to me. He's involved, he's calm, he's excited, he sorta knows what's going on. I don't know, but having him there meant the world to me, and I can't wait to be a parent with him. :)
Stats from the appointment:
- Calendar due date: March 6, 2012 (Kenton's birthday, and you'd better believe he going to hold me to it!)
- Ultrasound measurement due date: March 1, 2012
- Crown to rump length: 4.2 cm
- Weight gain: 2 pounds
- No official heart rate- but very fast, regular and strong!
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The middle picture is the best, the bottom one is cut off but wasn't great anyhow. Look at those tee-tiny arms and legs!!! |
Amazing
August 2, 2011
Okay, it's been about 2 weeks since I saw you on the ultrasound last, so we did it today at work. I always hold my breath when I first try to find you on the screen and then breathe a huge sigh of relief when I find your heart-beat. You were much bigger today and now have the shape of a peanut with a very strong heart beat.
While we were all watching you (all as in, the entire clinic staff) YOU MOVED. Like, your whole body kinda jumped from where you were laying on the down side of my uterus and was free floating in space for a while. I held my breath again.
God, you continually amaze me with the creation you are forming and nurturing and growing inside my body. The perfect way that you have set up a loving marriage relationship to bring about a new life is over-whelming. Words fail me.
Okay, it's been about 2 weeks since I saw you on the ultrasound last, so we did it today at work. I always hold my breath when I first try to find you on the screen and then breathe a huge sigh of relief when I find your heart-beat. You were much bigger today and now have the shape of a peanut with a very strong heart beat.
While we were all watching you (all as in, the entire clinic staff) YOU MOVED. Like, your whole body kinda jumped from where you were laying on the down side of my uterus and was free floating in space for a while. I held my breath again.
God, you continually amaze me with the creation you are forming and nurturing and growing inside my body. The perfect way that you have set up a loving marriage relationship to bring about a new life is over-whelming. Words fail me.
The BIG reveal
August 1, 2011
Yesterday was Scott's grandpa's birthday, but we had the family celebration on Friday night because Kenton, Suzan, and Kendra were headed West on Saturday morning. The traditional cake and homemade ice cream were on hand as well as some tasty chili dogs!
For his birthday, we gave Grandpa a framed picture of this ultrasound photo. He didn't know what it was but admired it politely. I then told him it was the first picture of his first great-grandbaby. Grandma Holloway's reaction was the best- a sweet little excited "oooohhh!!!" face. We showed them the video of the heart beat and they were so excited and gave the other greats, the grands, and auntie Kendra a copy of the pic as well. Still not telling the world, but a lot of the family knows now. Sunday, Grandpa told me he had written the following verse on the back of the picture:
"For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in your book they are all written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them."
~ Psalm 139:13-16
Side note: My mom and step-dad Kent were supposed to come for a visit this weekend but their plans changed. I had been waiting to tell them they were going to be grandparents until I could see them face to face, but I had to tell them over the phone (sorry, forgot to write about that the other day). They are super excited! In fact, yesterday, Mom sent us a package addressed to Mommy and Daddy Holloway. It was a really cute rubber-ducky onsie!! I think she may be excited, don't you?
Side note: My mom and step-dad Kent were supposed to come for a visit this weekend but their plans changed. I had been waiting to tell them they were going to be grandparents until I could see them face to face, but I had to tell them over the phone (sorry, forgot to write about that the other day). They are super excited! In fact, yesterday, Mom sent us a package addressed to Mommy and Daddy Holloway. It was a really cute rubber-ducky onsie!! I think she may be excited, don't you?
Heartbeat
July 16, 2011
Dear Baby,
Today, I found what I know is your heartbeat on my ultrasound at work.... I cried.
Tuesday, we had gone to see if we could see you and your heart the other day because I had a funny feeling and was spotting (and I was nervous). We found you on the U/S and could see a little flutter, but it wasn't very fast and we couldn't make ourselves believe that it was your heart.
But today, I definatlely saw it. It was beating strong and at around 120 beats per minute. What the medical world would call a viable uterine pregnancy. This. Is. Real.
You look all snug nestled into my uterus- like I'm already holding you. It makes me so excited and proud to be your mommy. I promise to already start taking care of you now by taking care of myself and staying healthy. We pray over you every night and hope for your strong growth and development.
We love you,
Daddy & Mommy
P.S. We'll take your first picture soon, promise!
Dear Baby,
Today, I found what I know is your heartbeat on my ultrasound at work.... I cried.
Tuesday, we had gone to see if we could see you and your heart the other day because I had a funny feeling and was spotting (and I was nervous). We found you on the U/S and could see a little flutter, but it wasn't very fast and we couldn't make ourselves believe that it was your heart.
But today, I definatlely saw it. It was beating strong and at around 120 beats per minute. What the medical world would call a viable uterine pregnancy. This. Is. Real.
You look all snug nestled into my uterus- like I'm already holding you. It makes me so excited and proud to be your mommy. I promise to already start taking care of you now by taking care of myself and staying healthy. We pray over you every night and hope for your strong growth and development.
We love you,
Daddy & Mommy
P.S. We'll take your first picture soon, promise!
Your Daddy loves you!
July 13, 2011
Things your dad has said that let me know he already loves you:
~Every night when he comes in, he kisses me and tells me he loves me and then kisses my (non-existent) belly and says, "And I love you!"
~He talks frequently about "his son." He is certain that you are a boy- I remind him it's a 50/50 shot. He asks every day, "How's our boy today?"
~He asked me what I was doing the other day. I told him nothing, but he said, "Yes you are- you're cooking!" As in, a bun in the oven.
~He already prays for you every night- for your developing body and that you'll grow up to be strong and healthy and that we'll be good parents for you.
~He's helping take care of you by taking care of me.
~He's become very protective of me in regards to my work.
~He wanted to buy baby cigars last night at the grocery store to pass out when you are born (not that he smokes a lot of cigars or that anyone we know does....)
~He's very understanding and coping well with my pregnancy symptoms. Today he said he was sorry that this pregnancy was so draining to me, and he thanked me for going through it all for you (not a problem, kiddo). He also said that next time we could adopt, just kidding.
~He's looking forward to holding his blond-haired, blue-eyed baby.
~He wants to buy you a "Cheerios" t-shirt so that you can wear it all the time like he did.
We love you Baby Holloway!!!
Things your dad has said that let me know he already loves you:
~Every night when he comes in, he kisses me and tells me he loves me and then kisses my (non-existent) belly and says, "And I love you!"
~He talks frequently about "his son." He is certain that you are a boy- I remind him it's a 50/50 shot. He asks every day, "How's our boy today?"
~He asked me what I was doing the other day. I told him nothing, but he said, "Yes you are- you're cooking!" As in, a bun in the oven.
~He already prays for you every night- for your developing body and that you'll grow up to be strong and healthy and that we'll be good parents for you.
~He's helping take care of you by taking care of me.
~He's become very protective of me in regards to my work.
~He wanted to buy baby cigars last night at the grocery store to pass out when you are born (not that he smokes a lot of cigars or that anyone we know does....)
~He's very understanding and coping well with my pregnancy symptoms. Today he said he was sorry that this pregnancy was so draining to me, and he thanked me for going through it all for you (not a problem, kiddo). He also said that next time we could adopt, just kidding.
~He's looking forward to holding his blond-haired, blue-eyed baby.
~He wants to buy you a "Cheerios" t-shirt so that you can wear it all the time like he did.
We love you Baby Holloway!!!
Secret's out
July 6, 2011
Well, Scott broke the news to his parents and his sister. It wasn't exactly the earth-shattering "You're going to be grandparents!!!" moment I had hoped for, but the celebration came later.
It's been a little tough lately at the dairy, to say the least. It's been hot, dry, and very, very stressful on all of us. Scott's been a little more stressed than normal, I know because he's worried about providing for his new family. Long story short: under extreme duress, the heat of the day, and a crazy situation, Scott fell apart in front of his mom and sister and told them I was pregnant. They were caught off gaurd and already crying for another reason, so the reaction was a little stifled (although I know they wanted to jump up and down and shout for joy!!) Later, Scott's mom told his dad, and everything, of course, worked out for the better.
Apparently, the news has lit a fire under everyone and we're working for a solution to make the dairy more stable so it can provide for all of us. Other solutions would be fore Scott to find a part time job, another job in town, or to move the dairy, and therefore my job, as well. Fortunately, everyone is working together to be more progressive and aggressive in finding the solution. This makes momma smile.
Since we told his parents, I told everyone at work. I would have loved to keep it to ourselves for a while longer, but there are so many things at my job that could cause our child harm that it was very important to let the girls and my bosses know so that they can watch out for me.
My parents are coming for a visit in a few weeks, so we'll tell them face-to-face. Can't wait! Everyone else in the family will find out in due time, but we'll keep it quiet for as long as we can, at least through the first trimester. Once that's past, we'll shout it from the rooftops!
Well, Scott broke the news to his parents and his sister. It wasn't exactly the earth-shattering "You're going to be grandparents!!!" moment I had hoped for, but the celebration came later.
It's been a little tough lately at the dairy, to say the least. It's been hot, dry, and very, very stressful on all of us. Scott's been a little more stressed than normal, I know because he's worried about providing for his new family. Long story short: under extreme duress, the heat of the day, and a crazy situation, Scott fell apart in front of his mom and sister and told them I was pregnant. They were caught off gaurd and already crying for another reason, so the reaction was a little stifled (although I know they wanted to jump up and down and shout for joy!!) Later, Scott's mom told his dad, and everything, of course, worked out for the better.
Apparently, the news has lit a fire under everyone and we're working for a solution to make the dairy more stable so it can provide for all of us. Other solutions would be fore Scott to find a part time job, another job in town, or to move the dairy, and therefore my job, as well. Fortunately, everyone is working together to be more progressive and aggressive in finding the solution. This makes momma smile.
Since we told his parents, I told everyone at work. I would have loved to keep it to ourselves for a while longer, but there are so many things at my job that could cause our child harm that it was very important to let the girls and my bosses know so that they can watch out for me.
My parents are coming for a visit in a few weeks, so we'll tell them face-to-face. Can't wait! Everyone else in the family will find out in due time, but we'll keep it quiet for as long as we can, at least through the first trimester. Once that's past, we'll shout it from the rooftops!
Skeet Shoot
July 3, 2011
Yesterday, we went to the 10th Annual Good Ole Boys Skeet Shoot. It's put on by my cousins Frank and Jeff and hosted at Martha and Rollin's farm. We had 57 shooters go through 6 different stations, we ate some yummy sausage, and even had a brief rain intermission. It was especially fun to watch Scott and Shane compete against each other, to witness that friendly brotherly rivalry. They must've been a fun pair to watch grow up.
Also, there were 2 newborns, 4 pregnant women (5!), and countless references to me having a child by Martha, Kendra, Misty, and even Skip. Maybe I'm extra sensitive and on high alert, but oh my goodness, it was hard to keep quiet! Ansley was running all over the place and Kendra and Martha had a nice little conversation about that was how I looked when I was little (except plumper) and that our children would look like that. Kendra wants to be an aunt soooo badly. I want to tell her, but we can't discriminate against other family members, so we have to keep quiet. Boo.
Also, I got a ton of compliments at church this morning for looking beautiful. Either I'm already glowing (doubtful) or I just look happy. Which I am! Scott came in this morning and asked how his little family was doing this morning. He also prayed the other night for "our little baby." I cried. Typing those words almost makes me tear up again.
Our. Little. Baby. :)
Yesterday, we went to the 10th Annual Good Ole Boys Skeet Shoot. It's put on by my cousins Frank and Jeff and hosted at Martha and Rollin's farm. We had 57 shooters go through 6 different stations, we ate some yummy sausage, and even had a brief rain intermission. It was especially fun to watch Scott and Shane compete against each other, to witness that friendly brotherly rivalry. They must've been a fun pair to watch grow up.
Also, there were 2 newborns, 4 pregnant women (5!), and countless references to me having a child by Martha, Kendra, Misty, and even Skip. Maybe I'm extra sensitive and on high alert, but oh my goodness, it was hard to keep quiet! Ansley was running all over the place and Kendra and Martha had a nice little conversation about that was how I looked when I was little (except plumper) and that our children would look like that. Kendra wants to be an aunt soooo badly. I want to tell her, but we can't discriminate against other family members, so we have to keep quiet. Boo.
Also, I got a ton of compliments at church this morning for looking beautiful. Either I'm already glowing (doubtful) or I just look happy. Which I am! Scott came in this morning and asked how his little family was doing this morning. He also prayed the other night for "our little baby." I cried. Typing those words almost makes me tear up again.
Our. Little. Baby. :)
:)
July 1, 2011
Should have written this post a few days ago, but I needed time to process the fact that
You'll be able to see by the previous two posts that on Monday I said I was going to wait a week and then by Tuesday I'd changed my mind and took the test and it was POSITIVE. Yes, I said lots of things about being patient and not wanting to jump the gun, but the more I thought about it and the more I read (thanks internet!) about very early signs of pregnancy, the more I thought, "huh..." and I just couldn't stand it any more. I went straight home from work and took the test. The line turned pink within 10 seconds and is what we'd call at work a "hot positive" meaning there's lots of hCG so the color reaction was very vivid. I started shaking, smiling, and crying all at the same time.
My original plan was to make Scott a nice dinner and later that evening ask him if he was ready to be a daddy. I'm really not good at sticking with the plan, obviously. I went straight to the dairy to find him. We said hello, how is your day, what are you doing. Then out of the blue he asked if we were pregnant. I told him yes, and he thought I was lying up until the point he came home 15 minutes later and I showed him the test. His reaction was, well, not what I'd hoped for at all. He went back to the dairy and I went to go run to clear my head.
I didn't stop praying for about 2 days that I would be patient with Scott, put myself in his position, and for God to ease his shock and let him get excited about it. I know that his reaction stemmed from the fact that now he is not only responsible for me but also for our child as well. Also, we were both expecting it to take a lot longer, not just 6 weeks!!!! Everything is going to change: his job, my job, moving, maybe moving the dairy, more financial responsibility. I know that if everything were in order, he wouldn't have as much anxiety. But I also know that no matter what, this is God's plan for our life. I am also a little relieved because I think this is the impetus we needed to get the ball rolling as far as the dairy goes. For two years we've been drifting in the wind with no clear cut direction as to where we needed to go or what we needed to do. This forces our (and his parent's) hand. Something has to be done in the next 8 months.
The next day, I made the first appointment with my OB for August 4th. Scott had calmed down a lot and even asked me, "How is the Momma today?" :) We were able to talk everything out a little. He wanted to make sure that this was "real" so I explained that for a test to be + I had to have hCG in my system and that it is produced by the placenta, which means it's already an EMBRYO!!! We've since come up with a plan: At 6 weeks we will go ultrasound me (great to have one of those at my disposal) and check everything out (may be able to see a heartbeat by then!!!). Then we will tell his parents and will be able to tell my bosses. There are a lot of things I'm exposed to daily that are a bit risky, especially this early on, and my job can be quite labor intensive. My mom and step-dad are coming for a visit sometime in August, so we may wait to tell them until then.
Yesterday I was able to go to Wichita Falls and have dinner with Vanessa and somehow we got into a conversation about pregnancy and infertility. I wanted to tell her soooo bad, but of course, I couldn't. Sorry!! After dinner, I went and bought "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and looked for a pregnancy keepsake book but didn't like what I found. I practically read the first 100 pages (okay, skimmed) last night. Lots of really important developmental things happen during the first trimester so I wanted to be well informed. And since my 1st OB visit isn't for another 5 weeks, I wanted a reliable source for answers.
Basically, I'm super excited and Scott seems to get more comfortable everyday. Of course, I'll keep posting as things keep happening. Stay tuned!
Should have written this post a few days ago, but I needed time to process the fact that
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!!
You'll be able to see by the previous two posts that on Monday I said I was going to wait a week and then by Tuesday I'd changed my mind and took the test and it was POSITIVE. Yes, I said lots of things about being patient and not wanting to jump the gun, but the more I thought about it and the more I read (thanks internet!) about very early signs of pregnancy, the more I thought, "huh..." and I just couldn't stand it any more. I went straight home from work and took the test. The line turned pink within 10 seconds and is what we'd call at work a "hot positive" meaning there's lots of hCG so the color reaction was very vivid. I started shaking, smiling, and crying all at the same time.
My original plan was to make Scott a nice dinner and later that evening ask him if he was ready to be a daddy. I'm really not good at sticking with the plan, obviously. I went straight to the dairy to find him. We said hello, how is your day, what are you doing. Then out of the blue he asked if we were pregnant. I told him yes, and he thought I was lying up until the point he came home 15 minutes later and I showed him the test. His reaction was, well, not what I'd hoped for at all. He went back to the dairy and I went to go run to clear my head.
I didn't stop praying for about 2 days that I would be patient with Scott, put myself in his position, and for God to ease his shock and let him get excited about it. I know that his reaction stemmed from the fact that now he is not only responsible for me but also for our child as well. Also, we were both expecting it to take a lot longer, not just 6 weeks!!!! Everything is going to change: his job, my job, moving, maybe moving the dairy, more financial responsibility. I know that if everything were in order, he wouldn't have as much anxiety. But I also know that no matter what, this is God's plan for our life. I am also a little relieved because I think this is the impetus we needed to get the ball rolling as far as the dairy goes. For two years we've been drifting in the wind with no clear cut direction as to where we needed to go or what we needed to do. This forces our (and his parent's) hand. Something has to be done in the next 8 months.
The next day, I made the first appointment with my OB for August 4th. Scott had calmed down a lot and even asked me, "How is the Momma today?" :) We were able to talk everything out a little. He wanted to make sure that this was "real" so I explained that for a test to be + I had to have hCG in my system and that it is produced by the placenta, which means it's already an EMBRYO!!! We've since come up with a plan: At 6 weeks we will go ultrasound me (great to have one of those at my disposal) and check everything out (may be able to see a heartbeat by then!!!). Then we will tell his parents and will be able to tell my bosses. There are a lot of things I'm exposed to daily that are a bit risky, especially this early on, and my job can be quite labor intensive. My mom and step-dad are coming for a visit sometime in August, so we may wait to tell them until then.
Yesterday I was able to go to Wichita Falls and have dinner with Vanessa and somehow we got into a conversation about pregnancy and infertility. I wanted to tell her soooo bad, but of course, I couldn't. Sorry!! After dinner, I went and bought "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and looked for a pregnancy keepsake book but didn't like what I found. I practically read the first 100 pages (okay, skimmed) last night. Lots of really important developmental things happen during the first trimester so I wanted to be well informed. And since my 1st OB visit isn't for another 5 weeks, I wanted a reliable source for answers.
Basically, I'm super excited and Scott seems to get more comfortable everyday. Of course, I'll keep posting as things keep happening. Stay tuned!
???!!!
June 27, 2011
So... I'm one day late. [If you don't want to know a whole lot about me, stop reading.]
You're going, okay, so, 1 day, you could have counted wrong, you may just be slightly irregular for whatever reason, it may be off by a few hours. Whatever. But I can't really say anything to anyone and I want to surprise Scott so I'm writing it all down. Besides, it will be a neat memory if I really am!
I seem to remember being very regular before I was on the pill. The first month I was off I went exactly 28, the second 26, and today is 29. Without getting too graphic, there are usually some signs I have a few days before, and those are no where in sight. No spotting, no serious moodiness, no weight gain. Also, I've been having some random cramping, not as consistent as impending period, but intense enough to wake me up last night. My breasts are pretty tender (which I never noticed as PMS until last month), I've been tired, and I've had to pee like crazy.
So why don't you just take a pregnancy test? Several reasons. 1) I don't want to over-react. I want to be patient and not jump the gun. 2) My cycle may just be off a day or two- time will tell. 3) Timing: I want to find out and then be able to tell Scott right away or within a few hours, and I want to be able to spend a lot of time with him that day. So I'll wait until the 4th of July. That's one week out from my expected re-cycle date, I don't have work that day, and I should be able to spend time with him then.
Waiting and not knowing is hard. Trying to not get too excited so that when you're not you aren't too disappointed, but at the same time trying not to be pessimistic and wanting to be overjoyed and wanting to tell the world, or at least your husband. My prayer is for patience, peace of mind, and wisdom. My prayer for Scott is for direction, strength, and leadership. And for rest for both of us, so good night!
So... I'm one day late. [If you don't want to know a whole lot about me, stop reading.]
You're going, okay, so, 1 day, you could have counted wrong, you may just be slightly irregular for whatever reason, it may be off by a few hours. Whatever. But I can't really say anything to anyone and I want to surprise Scott so I'm writing it all down. Besides, it will be a neat memory if I really am!
I seem to remember being very regular before I was on the pill. The first month I was off I went exactly 28, the second 26, and today is 29. Without getting too graphic, there are usually some signs I have a few days before, and those are no where in sight. No spotting, no serious moodiness, no weight gain. Also, I've been having some random cramping, not as consistent as impending period, but intense enough to wake me up last night. My breasts are pretty tender (which I never noticed as PMS until last month), I've been tired, and I've had to pee like crazy.
So why don't you just take a pregnancy test? Several reasons. 1) I don't want to over-react. I want to be patient and not jump the gun. 2) My cycle may just be off a day or two- time will tell. 3) Timing: I want to find out and then be able to tell Scott right away or within a few hours, and I want to be able to spend a lot of time with him that day. So I'll wait until the 4th of July. That's one week out from my expected re-cycle date, I don't have work that day, and I should be able to spend time with him then.
Waiting and not knowing is hard. Trying to not get too excited so that when you're not you aren't too disappointed, but at the same time trying not to be pessimistic and wanting to be overjoyed and wanting to tell the world, or at least your husband. My prayer is for patience, peace of mind, and wisdom. My prayer for Scott is for direction, strength, and leadership. And for rest for both of us, so good night!
Not "preventing"
June 13, 2011
This will be the first in a series of blogs that will remain unpublished until further notice.
So.... big news! Scott and I have decided to start a family!!!! (Big smile here)
Actually, this decision was made in March. Yes, I'm a little behind. I've been wanting to blog about this but it's technically a public blog and we decided that he and I would be the only ones to know about it. Then today I had a stroke of genius: write all the blogs you want and then publish them when the time comes to make the big announcement!
So in March: we're at the DFA Annual Meeting and Scott, out of the blue, says, "Let's make a baby." Just two weeks prior we'd had the when-are-we-going-to-start-trying talk and he'd said let's wait a while. I have no idea what changed his mind and he doesn't really either, but the decision was made! I finished out the month on the Pill and then tossed them. We waited a little while to let my cycle get back to normal and we are now officially "not preventing."
The difference in "trying" and "not preventing" is that when you are trying you actually are attempting to pinpoint ovulation and making sure there is sperm present to fertilize an egg. As of right now, we are simply having a great time and not stressing about when or taking temperature or counting the days. We're just having fun.
I'm actually really excited about this and I know that other people would be, too. It's also fun that it's our little secret. Every time I see a baby or kids or a pregnant woman I get really excited thinking, "That could be me soon!" I also have the fleeting thought of, "we could've just made a baby!!" Or when someone asks me when we're going to start a family and I don't give them a straight answer. Or like when Kendra told me Saturday that she couldn't wait until we have kids so she could spoil them and buy it some Tech baby stuff. Like I said, I'm excited! Hope you are, too!!!
This will be the first in a series of blogs that will remain unpublished until further notice.
So.... big news! Scott and I have decided to start a family!!!! (Big smile here)
Actually, this decision was made in March. Yes, I'm a little behind. I've been wanting to blog about this but it's technically a public blog and we decided that he and I would be the only ones to know about it. Then today I had a stroke of genius: write all the blogs you want and then publish them when the time comes to make the big announcement!
So in March: we're at the DFA Annual Meeting and Scott, out of the blue, says, "Let's make a baby." Just two weeks prior we'd had the when-are-we-going-to-start-trying talk and he'd said let's wait a while. I have no idea what changed his mind and he doesn't really either, but the decision was made! I finished out the month on the Pill and then tossed them. We waited a little while to let my cycle get back to normal and we are now officially "not preventing."
The difference in "trying" and "not preventing" is that when you are trying you actually are attempting to pinpoint ovulation and making sure there is sperm present to fertilize an egg. As of right now, we are simply having a great time and not stressing about when or taking temperature or counting the days. We're just having fun.
I'm actually really excited about this and I know that other people would be, too. It's also fun that it's our little secret. Every time I see a baby or kids or a pregnant woman I get really excited thinking, "That could be me soon!" I also have the fleeting thought of, "we could've just made a baby!!" Or when someone asks me when we're going to start a family and I don't give them a straight answer. Or like when Kendra told me Saturday that she couldn't wait until we have kids so she could spoil them and buy it some Tech baby stuff. Like I said, I'm excited! Hope you are, too!!!
Monday, August 15, 2011
Behind, again
Sorry, August is half-way over and I'm lagging behind. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have zero energy and motivation, and it's been over 100 degrees for nearly 2 months. Yep, that'll do it for sure!
So what's been going on here. Scott and I went to the Southwest Council YC Annual Meeting the last week in July and had a lot of fun. More on that later. Scott is playing church-league softball every Monday and Thursday. I am the official team cheer-leader. Next year I get a megaphone and pom-poms. Be jealous. We celebrated out 2 year anniversary by spending a few nights in Grapevine. Is it sad that it's a vacation when you get to sleep in past 7, go watch a movie, take your time shopping, and go to a rodeo? Anyhow, that's what we did for two days. It was a nice break, but, as all vacations are, over way too soon and very hard to come back. We did get a little rain last week, for which we are truly grateful, but when the subsoil that is 5 feet below is dry, 7/10ths is like spitting in the Grand Canyon. There are a few other exciting things going on here, but I hope to catch up on those soon in another post. (read: blogging accountability)
So what's been going on here. Scott and I went to the Southwest Council YC Annual Meeting the last week in July and had a lot of fun. More on that later. Scott is playing church-league softball every Monday and Thursday. I am the official team cheer-leader. Next year I get a megaphone and pom-poms. Be jealous. We celebrated out 2 year anniversary by spending a few nights in Grapevine. Is it sad that it's a vacation when you get to sleep in past 7, go watch a movie, take your time shopping, and go to a rodeo? Anyhow, that's what we did for two days. It was a nice break, but, as all vacations are, over way too soon and very hard to come back. We did get a little rain last week, for which we are truly grateful, but when the subsoil that is 5 feet below is dry, 7/10ths is like spitting in the Grand Canyon. There are a few other exciting things going on here, but I hope to catch up on those soon in another post. (read: blogging accountability)
Sunday, July 24, 2011
September
Reasons I'm ready for it to be September:
- 22 consecutive days of 100+ temperatures, enough said.
- The grass is supposed to start turning brown and the leaves are supposed to start falling from the trees
- Football season starts
- My old favorite TV shows (Castle, Grey's, and Blue Bloods) will come back on with new episodes!
- Shorter days and a crispness to the air (okay, maybe that won't quite happen until October)
- I'll get to quit worrying about something and then be able to publicly rejoice about it!
- Hurricane seasons starts which means we may have a shot at some desperately needed R-A-I-N!!!
- Stock show season starts, which means I'll have heifers to help break & train.
- 22 consecutive days of 100+ temperatures, enough said.
- The grass is supposed to start turning brown and the leaves are supposed to start falling from the trees
- Football season starts
- My old favorite TV shows (Castle, Grey's, and Blue Bloods) will come back on with new episodes!
- Shorter days and a crispness to the air (okay, maybe that won't quite happen until October)
- I'll get to quit worrying about something and then be able to publicly rejoice about it!
- Hurricane seasons starts which means we may have a shot at some desperately needed R-A-I-N!!!
- Stock show season starts, which means I'll have heifers to help break & train.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Baby's First Home Movie :)
July 21, 2011
We couldn't get the printer on the ultrasound to work, but Stacy and Jennifer took pictures with their phones and emailed them to me. Stacy also took video and you can see your heart beating so fast and strong and regular. :)
This week, you are the size of a raspberry. Your brain is growing at the rate of 100 cells per minute. That just amazes me. I am fascinated by your development and that fact that I can watch you grow. God is knitting you together perfectly, and we can't wait to meet you!
Here is your first home video:
(If you make the picture bigger, you can really see the heartbeat!)
We couldn't get the printer on the ultrasound to work, but Stacy and Jennifer took pictures with their phones and emailed them to me. Stacy also took video and you can see your heart beating so fast and strong and regular. :)
This week, you are the size of a raspberry. Your brain is growing at the rate of 100 cells per minute. That just amazes me. I am fascinated by your development and that fact that I can watch you grow. God is knitting you together perfectly, and we can't wait to meet you!
Here is your first home video:
(If you make the picture bigger, you can really see the heartbeat!)
Monday, June 27, 2011
Identity Crisis
Ever had one of those? I've had several. The first one was gradual when I moved off to college. I think everyone goes through that one, when you are out on your own and really learning who you are as a person, not who everyone else wants you to be. I think you also find your faith during this time. You pick your church, you decide if you are even going to church, you ask your questions, things aren't spoon fed to you any more from your parents or your youth minister. I've always thought college was the perfect transition into the real world. You still have people telling you what to do. You now have more financial responsibility, but this is usually shared by roommates or parents and within the confines of student loans or a part time job. You also build friends, colleagues, and mentors for life.
My second identity crisis came when I graduated from college and became a doctor. I was not longer "Sara" but "Dr. Schweers." I was in a small town, on my own completely, had a real demanding job, and way more adult responsibility than I ever wanted. Again, I think this is a normal transition, albeit difficult to navigate.
The third came when I got married and it blind-sided me. I all of a sudden went from just me to a part of something way bigger than me. I had vowed in front of God to stand beside someone "until death do us part." Two became one. I was no longer living for myself but for us. It took a while for the enormity of that to sink in. We function as a unit and are whole together. The hard part is trying to navigate and remain yourself while realizing how every single thing you do will impact the other.
I love the relationship I have with Scott. We are best friends, lovers, playmates, roommates (I now live with a boy!). It's hard to describe, but even though we are a part of each other, we still allow each other the freedom to be ourselves. I think that is key, to not be completely enmeshed. To continue with your own activities and lives but as a family. To continue to give each other a little space (and completely trust one another) but still miss them when you aren't around. I love learning to be what Scott needs. It gives me great joy to know that I am his soft place to land, and that he is my anchor.
I'm also facing another ID crisis: where to go with my career. Do I continue on as a hard-core clinician and pursue board certification (in what field, I have no earthly idea)? Do I stay content and just truck on with what I know and gain new experiences along the way? Do I back off when it's time to raise a family? If we move, will I have to settle for whatever job I can get, even if not in my exact field of interest or as progressive as I'd like or more demanding than I want?
What I do know is that right now I am Mrs. Scott Holloway and Dr. Sara Holloway all at the same time, and I think I do a pretty darn good job of balancing this Jekyll/Hyde act..... for now!
My second identity crisis came when I graduated from college and became a doctor. I was not longer "Sara" but "Dr. Schweers." I was in a small town, on my own completely, had a real demanding job, and way more adult responsibility than I ever wanted. Again, I think this is a normal transition, albeit difficult to navigate.
The third came when I got married and it blind-sided me. I all of a sudden went from just me to a part of something way bigger than me. I had vowed in front of God to stand beside someone "until death do us part." Two became one. I was no longer living for myself but for us. It took a while for the enormity of that to sink in. We function as a unit and are whole together. The hard part is trying to navigate and remain yourself while realizing how every single thing you do will impact the other.
I love the relationship I have with Scott. We are best friends, lovers, playmates, roommates (I now live with a boy!). It's hard to describe, but even though we are a part of each other, we still allow each other the freedom to be ourselves. I think that is key, to not be completely enmeshed. To continue with your own activities and lives but as a family. To continue to give each other a little space (and completely trust one another) but still miss them when you aren't around. I love learning to be what Scott needs. It gives me great joy to know that I am his soft place to land, and that he is my anchor.
I'm also facing another ID crisis: where to go with my career. Do I continue on as a hard-core clinician and pursue board certification (in what field, I have no earthly idea)? Do I stay content and just truck on with what I know and gain new experiences along the way? Do I back off when it's time to raise a family? If we move, will I have to settle for whatever job I can get, even if not in my exact field of interest or as progressive as I'd like or more demanding than I want?
What I do know is that right now I am Mrs. Scott Holloway and Dr. Sara Holloway all at the same time, and I think I do a pretty darn good job of balancing this Jekyll/Hyde act..... for now!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Time flies
I just realized that June is over half-way finished and I haven't written a new post. Oops.
That's probably because not much is going on here. Scott, his dad and even his sister all pitched in and got the first cutting of hay done, hauled off and stored away. Unless it rains, that may be the only cutting we get this summer as things are really, really dry. There is rain in the forecast early next week, so we're praying for that. We also have a bunch of 1st-calf heifers that are about to calve, so hopefully everything goes well with that.
We went to my MIL's family reunion last Sunday which is always nice because these are actual in-laws and cousins that get along. No conflict or bitterness present at all. Also, I actually got to know my BIL a little bit and see him when he's relaxed and enjoying himself. I won't mention the reason why. :)
Scott's been gone 3 days this week to Washington, DC with the DFA YC group. They went to a convention to learn how to approach congressmen with pressing issues, then he got to meet Mac Thornberry and meet with staffers from Kay Bailey Hutchinson's and someone else's office. And he got to go on tours around DC and eat fancy meals. I had looked forward to going with him all year, but the date was changed at the last minute and I wasn't able to go because my boss had already taken those three days off for his daughter's wedding. I was okay with him going without me initially because someone needed to represent us and he's never been there, but then when he was gone I got super upset that I was missing out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and it's completely ruined my week. I have a few hours to get happy and morph back into the supportive wife before he gets home, and enjoy my clean house before he gets home, too. Apparently, I was single for way too long.
Other than that, we've just been working and trying to beat the heat. Daytime Hi's have been near or over 100 for the past 2 weeks which makes working outside miserable. I'm in desperate need of a vacation that is non-veterinary, non-dairy, and non-family related, so I'm going to try to arrange that before to long.
That's probably because not much is going on here. Scott, his dad and even his sister all pitched in and got the first cutting of hay done, hauled off and stored away. Unless it rains, that may be the only cutting we get this summer as things are really, really dry. There is rain in the forecast early next week, so we're praying for that. We also have a bunch of 1st-calf heifers that are about to calve, so hopefully everything goes well with that.
We went to my MIL's family reunion last Sunday which is always nice because these are actual in-laws and cousins that get along. No conflict or bitterness present at all. Also, I actually got to know my BIL a little bit and see him when he's relaxed and enjoying himself. I won't mention the reason why. :)
Scott's been gone 3 days this week to Washington, DC with the DFA YC group. They went to a convention to learn how to approach congressmen with pressing issues, then he got to meet Mac Thornberry and meet with staffers from Kay Bailey Hutchinson's and someone else's office. And he got to go on tours around DC and eat fancy meals. I had looked forward to going with him all year, but the date was changed at the last minute and I wasn't able to go because my boss had already taken those three days off for his daughter's wedding. I was okay with him going without me initially because someone needed to represent us and he's never been there, but then when he was gone I got super upset that I was missing out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and it's completely ruined my week. I have a few hours to get happy and morph back into the supportive wife before he gets home, and enjoy my clean house before he gets home, too. Apparently, I was single for way too long.
Other than that, we've just been working and trying to beat the heat. Daytime Hi's have been near or over 100 for the past 2 weeks which makes working outside miserable. I'm in desperate need of a vacation that is non-veterinary, non-dairy, and non-family related, so I'm going to try to arrange that before to long.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Dairy Update
Who knew the dairy industry was SOOOOO involved? It seems pretty straight-forward, but noooo. One would think: you milk the cows, the milk gets packaged into jugs, and then it's sold in the store. Apparently there are a million different steps in that process.
And off of those steps are expensive. Shipping, both the milk and the feed, fuel, feed costs, buying and registering new cows, maintaining dairy and farm equipment, taxes, regulatory regulations and inspections, and on and on..... Betcha never thought about all of that when you were drinking your glass of milk or eating ice cream on Memorial Day.
So, how is Twin Oaks doing these days? Short answer: better. Long answer: We were able to hire a new milk hand in March which has helped ease the work load and life morale considerably. Financially, the dairy industry as a whole is in much better shape, especially in certain regions and markets. Milk produced and sold for cheese production receives the most money per 100 pounds (that's how milk is priced). Regions of the country that have lower milk production pay more for milk, think supply and demand. And areas where land, water, and feed production obviously have a larger profit margin.
We are looking at our options for improving our situation. A dairy in the far North Panhandle of Texas has recently come up for sale. It is a bigger dairy, 500 Jersey cows, and comes with lots of acreage to produce our own feed and hay. It also comes with a hefty price tag but may be within reach. Scott and I went to visit this dairy this past week. It's got his and Kenton's wheels turning. How can we rebuild here using their design and some new technology? What makes that dairy's profit margin larger than ours? Or do we just pick up and move West? All sorts of questions and opportunities.
And we all know how much I LOVE unanswered open-ended questions about my future.... :)
And off of those steps are expensive. Shipping, both the milk and the feed, fuel, feed costs, buying and registering new cows, maintaining dairy and farm equipment, taxes, regulatory regulations and inspections, and on and on..... Betcha never thought about all of that when you were drinking your glass of milk or eating ice cream on Memorial Day.
So, how is Twin Oaks doing these days? Short answer: better. Long answer: We were able to hire a new milk hand in March which has helped ease the work load and life morale considerably. Financially, the dairy industry as a whole is in much better shape, especially in certain regions and markets. Milk produced and sold for cheese production receives the most money per 100 pounds (that's how milk is priced). Regions of the country that have lower milk production pay more for milk, think supply and demand. And areas where land, water, and feed production obviously have a larger profit margin.
We are looking at our options for improving our situation. A dairy in the far North Panhandle of Texas has recently come up for sale. It is a bigger dairy, 500 Jersey cows, and comes with lots of acreage to produce our own feed and hay. It also comes with a hefty price tag but may be within reach. Scott and I went to visit this dairy this past week. It's got his and Kenton's wheels turning. How can we rebuild here using their design and some new technology? What makes that dairy's profit margin larger than ours? Or do we just pick up and move West? All sorts of questions and opportunities.
And we all know how much I LOVE unanswered open-ended questions about my future.... :)
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Faith Triumphs in Trouble
"1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
~Romans 5:1-5
The Word of God is how He speaks to us- had this nice little chat with Him this afternoon. It's like He knew exactly what to say to ease lots of things on my mind. :)
~Romans 5:1-5
The Word of God is how He speaks to us- had this nice little chat with Him this afternoon. It's like He knew exactly what to say to ease lots of things on my mind. :)
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Getting Out of the Way
Scott and I made a big decision to get out of God's way recently. We had our own agenda and time schedule and were sticking to it (we're both first children, can you tell?). Then we just said, "Okay, God, have at it," and placed total control in his hands. It's not that he didn't have that control anyway, but we were trying to manipulate His plan for our life and put Him on our itinerary. But I think that having the faith to say, "It's all Yours," means that we finally relented and bowed to His schedule and his perfect timing. And that feels right.
I'm reminded of when he and I were dating. I thought, if this is meant to be, there is no way to screw it up. God will over-ride our stupidity, stubbornness, and mistakes and see our relationship though to completion. We placed ourselves and "us" completely in His hands. We have a lot of unanswered questions about our future and direction, but placing it all in His court helps all of that anxiety go away.
I'm reminded of when he and I were dating. I thought, if this is meant to be, there is no way to screw it up. God will over-ride our stupidity, stubbornness, and mistakes and see our relationship though to completion. We placed ourselves and "us" completely in His hands. We have a lot of unanswered questions about our future and direction, but placing it all in His court helps all of that anxiety go away.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Call Me Unpatriotic
Nearly two weeks ago, my regularly scheduled programming was interrupted by the president announcing that Osama bin Laden had been killed by a SEAL team in his compound in Pakistan.
An audible cry rang out across the country, along with many tears, some at-a-boys, and an all-out celebration of patriotism. I must admit, my initial reaction following the announcement was to give Scott a high five (un-returned, I might add). Then doubt that he was really dead, followed by the feeling that it didn't really matter as far as terrorism goes, someone else will just step up. Then the images of the revelers flashed on the screen. Thousands, if not millions, of Americans (and other nations) crazily celebrating our "victory." And I felt guilty. And embarrassed. And unpatriotic.
It occurred to me that everyone was celebrating some guy's death. We were congratulating men that shot someone. We were out for vengeance, and 10 years after the largest attack on American soil, we got him back. The death of one man in exchange for the death of thousands. People demanded photographs as proof- of a man shot in the eye. Parents, grandparents, husbands, wives, friends, all breathed a sigh of relief as the man that killed their loved ones got the punishment he deserved. And I can not sit across from any one of them and tell them they are wrong.
"Vengeance is mine," ~Deuteronomy 32:35
My God is weeping. A man that he created lived a terrible, sinful life and never knew the loving God that I knew. And now he will never have the chance. My God wept on 9-11, too, for those souls that will never get to come home. My God weeps for the soldiers that are fighting a pointless battle, who take lives on command, and those who come home to broken families, changed forever. My God wept when thousands, if not millions, celebrated the death of bin Laden. My God looks at me daily and shakes his head and sheds a tear when I sin and separate myself from His love.
As a friend put it: Did Osama deserve to die? Yes. Do I also deserve to die? You bet.
"For it is appointed once for man to die, and after that comes the judgement." ~Hebrews 9:27
You see, it is not our job to judge. Our job is to strive to live as Christ did, and to seek forgiveness when we fail on a daily basis. We will face the same judgement that bin Laden did, and we'd better be ready to answer for ourselves.
Another thought keeps haunting me. As I watch the images of people dancing around in the streets, singing and chanting words of patriotism, and decorating places with balloons, ribbons, and well-wishes, I wonder, "Is this what Jerusalem was like after Christ's death on the cross?" Were the Pharisees and Saducees sitting around giving each other high-fives going, "We got Him!" Was the angry crowd that stood around mocking Him and demanding to see his body off celebrating with wine?
An audible cry rang out across the country, along with many tears, some at-a-boys, and an all-out celebration of patriotism. I must admit, my initial reaction following the announcement was to give Scott a high five (un-returned, I might add). Then doubt that he was really dead, followed by the feeling that it didn't really matter as far as terrorism goes, someone else will just step up. Then the images of the revelers flashed on the screen. Thousands, if not millions, of Americans (and other nations) crazily celebrating our "victory." And I felt guilty. And embarrassed. And unpatriotic.
It occurred to me that everyone was celebrating some guy's death. We were congratulating men that shot someone. We were out for vengeance, and 10 years after the largest attack on American soil, we got him back. The death of one man in exchange for the death of thousands. People demanded photographs as proof- of a man shot in the eye. Parents, grandparents, husbands, wives, friends, all breathed a sigh of relief as the man that killed their loved ones got the punishment he deserved. And I can not sit across from any one of them and tell them they are wrong.
"Vengeance is mine," ~Deuteronomy 32:35
My God is weeping. A man that he created lived a terrible, sinful life and never knew the loving God that I knew. And now he will never have the chance. My God wept on 9-11, too, for those souls that will never get to come home. My God weeps for the soldiers that are fighting a pointless battle, who take lives on command, and those who come home to broken families, changed forever. My God wept when thousands, if not millions, celebrated the death of bin Laden. My God looks at me daily and shakes his head and sheds a tear when I sin and separate myself from His love.
As a friend put it: Did Osama deserve to die? Yes. Do I also deserve to die? You bet.
"For it is appointed once for man to die, and after that comes the judgement." ~Hebrews 9:27
You see, it is not our job to judge. Our job is to strive to live as Christ did, and to seek forgiveness when we fail on a daily basis. We will face the same judgement that bin Laden did, and we'd better be ready to answer for ourselves.
Another thought keeps haunting me. As I watch the images of people dancing around in the streets, singing and chanting words of patriotism, and decorating places with balloons, ribbons, and well-wishes, I wonder, "Is this what Jerusalem was like after Christ's death on the cross?" Were the Pharisees and Saducees sitting around giving each other high-fives going, "We got Him!" Was the angry crowd that stood around mocking Him and demanding to see his body off celebrating with wine?
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Top 10 dog breeds I'd never own:
10. Cocker Spaniel
9. Scottish Terrier
8. Any "designer" breed
7. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
6. German Shepherd
5. Husky/American Eskimo
4. Chihuahua
3. Chinese Crested
2. Boxer
1. Bulldog, any variety
It just occurred to me that it would be much more fun if I put pictures instead of names. I'll work on that.
P.S. Sorry if I offended anyone. Or their dog.
9. Scottish Terrier
8. Any "designer" breed
7. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
6. German Shepherd
5. Husky/American Eskimo
4. Chihuahua
3. Chinese Crested
2. Boxer
1. Bulldog, any variety
It just occurred to me that it would be much more fun if I put pictures instead of names. I'll work on that.
P.S. Sorry if I offended anyone. Or their dog.
The Unknown
Anyone that knows me (or knew me while I was in school) knows that I am a planner extraordinaire. Ever since jr. high, I've known what at least the next 4 years of my life would involve. In high school, I knew I was going to college. In college, I knew I was going to vet school. In vet school, I knew I was going into rural mixed practice somewhere in Texas. I had a PLAN, and I followed through with it, almost stubbornly.
Right now, I don't have a plan, and it is so un-nerving I can't really describe it. We've been married almost two years and are starting to make some real life decisions. Do we move or do we stay here? Do we start a family or wait a while longer? Do we stay here simply because I was fortunate enough to land my dream job right out of school (family friendly, I might add)? Do we buy a house or just wait it out in case we move the dairy? Does Scott get a job somewhere else or in town or stay with the dairy?
I feel kinda lost. This is the first time in my life that I don't know where I'll be next year. I think my awareness of this situation is amplified because none of this is bothering Scott, or at least if it is, he's really great at not letting it get to him (okay, consume him, like it is me). This is the line in the sand where he and I are polar opposites. He can be calm, cool, and collected in almost any situation. I tend to let things gnaw at me under the surface, I chew them up over and over like a cow's cud and then try to figure everything out and put it in a neat little step-by-step package.
Scott: "Everything will be fine and work itself out."
Sara: "First we need to ask this question. Then we need to do this. Then if all of that works out......."
When you get right down to it, I'm not sure if it's just that he's so much more laid back than me or just has way more faith. Or maybe a combination of both. "Be anxious in nothing..." I know God has THE PLAN for our life, and maybe this is a true test of my faith in that plan, but a hint would be really great. A direction to head, a goal, instead of just going through each day not having a freaking clue what's coming up next.
*BIG SIGH*
I'll leave you with a dose of my own medicine: This is the quote at the bottom of my personal emails.
"To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation."
~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
Right now, I don't have a plan, and it is so un-nerving I can't really describe it. We've been married almost two years and are starting to make some real life decisions. Do we move or do we stay here? Do we start a family or wait a while longer? Do we stay here simply because I was fortunate enough to land my dream job right out of school (family friendly, I might add)? Do we buy a house or just wait it out in case we move the dairy? Does Scott get a job somewhere else or in town or stay with the dairy?
I feel kinda lost. This is the first time in my life that I don't know where I'll be next year. I think my awareness of this situation is amplified because none of this is bothering Scott, or at least if it is, he's really great at not letting it get to him (okay, consume him, like it is me). This is the line in the sand where he and I are polar opposites. He can be calm, cool, and collected in almost any situation. I tend to let things gnaw at me under the surface, I chew them up over and over like a cow's cud and then try to figure everything out and put it in a neat little step-by-step package.
Scott: "Everything will be fine and work itself out."
Sara: "First we need to ask this question. Then we need to do this. Then if all of that works out......."
When you get right down to it, I'm not sure if it's just that he's so much more laid back than me or just has way more faith. Or maybe a combination of both. "Be anxious in nothing..." I know God has THE PLAN for our life, and maybe this is a true test of my faith in that plan, but a hint would be really great. A direction to head, a goal, instead of just going through each day not having a freaking clue what's coming up next.
*BIG SIGH*
I'll leave you with a dose of my own medicine: This is the quote at the bottom of my personal emails.
"To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation."
~Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Emergency Rooms
Disclaimer: In no way do I mean to undermine the education or training of ER doctors or staff, especially those in level 1 trauma centers. I admire your training, skills, and instinct. Also, in no way do I intend to make myself out to be the high-and-mighty, I-can-do-better-than-you veterinarian. Just need to gripe a little.
So, way back in February I got to make a trip to the ER for the first time since I myself became a doctor. I was tube feeding a newborn calf that decided to pitch a wal-eyed fit and throw himself on the ground. The corner of his tooth caught the skin between my thumb and first finger on my left hand (thank heavens!) and I got three sutures. I'll spare you the gory pictures- you're welcome. Anyhow, turns out I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to human lacerations, fractures or other severe injuries, especially when they occur to my body. Because I got all sweaty and white and shaky, my sweet MIL insisted I go to the ER and that I didn't need to drive myself.
So the reception and nursing staff were wonderful. They were kind, efficient, friendly, good and gold. The nurse even let me keep the instruments from my suture kit (they just throw them away!) and they are now autoclaved and in my truck for emergency purposes.
The doctor, however, was quite terrible. First of all, he didn't clean my wound. What part of "I cut my hand on a calf's tooth at a dairy" makes the wound sound sterile? No scrubbing, no flushing. He didn't even clean the blood off the rest of my hand when he was done suturing. Second, he didn't completely block some of the wound with lidocaine, so when he started I could feel him taking "bites" with the needle and feel the pull of the suture. Then, he overlapped the skin with the sutures instead of them being "apposed." And, his sutures had entirely too much tension to allow for good wound healing and blood flow. Then the nurse put woven gauze over the sutures and taped it to my hand which stuck and pulled when I changed the bandage. The he decided that I needed an ace bandage for "support." Are you kidding me???? He at least did have the presence of mind to give me a tetanus booster and start me on antibiotics- good think since he didn't properly clean a contaminated wound......
Next time I'll call Dr. Myers after I attempt to do it myself!
Okay, I'm done- thanks for letting me rant :)
So, way back in February I got to make a trip to the ER for the first time since I myself became a doctor. I was tube feeding a newborn calf that decided to pitch a wal-eyed fit and throw himself on the ground. The corner of his tooth caught the skin between my thumb and first finger on my left hand (thank heavens!) and I got three sutures. I'll spare you the gory pictures- you're welcome. Anyhow, turns out I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to human lacerations, fractures or other severe injuries, especially when they occur to my body. Because I got all sweaty and white and shaky, my sweet MIL insisted I go to the ER and that I didn't need to drive myself.
So the reception and nursing staff were wonderful. They were kind, efficient, friendly, good and gold. The nurse even let me keep the instruments from my suture kit (they just throw them away!) and they are now autoclaved and in my truck for emergency purposes.
The doctor, however, was quite terrible. First of all, he didn't clean my wound. What part of "I cut my hand on a calf's tooth at a dairy" makes the wound sound sterile? No scrubbing, no flushing. He didn't even clean the blood off the rest of my hand when he was done suturing. Second, he didn't completely block some of the wound with lidocaine, so when he started I could feel him taking "bites" with the needle and feel the pull of the suture. Then, he overlapped the skin with the sutures instead of them being "apposed." And, his sutures had entirely too much tension to allow for good wound healing and blood flow. Then the nurse put woven gauze over the sutures and taped it to my hand which stuck and pulled when I changed the bandage. The he decided that I needed an ace bandage for "support." Are you kidding me???? He at least did have the presence of mind to give me a tetanus booster and start me on antibiotics- good think since he didn't properly clean a contaminated wound......
Next time I'll call Dr. Myers after I attempt to do it myself!
Okay, I'm done- thanks for letting me rant :)
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